No, my head didn’t just fall on the keyboard. This apparently random collection of letters does mean something. Here goes: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Two-spirited, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, and Allies.

Although I am not an expert on the fine distinction between these vocations, there is an organisation that can educate anyone prepared to disconnect their critical faculties.

If only the Rev. Hollis Hiscock had availed himself of this education  before penning an article in the Niagara Anglican and getting himself in a bit of a muddle. The Rev. writes:

Our goals include building bridges with the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Two-spirited, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, and Ally (LGBTTTIQQAA) communities, educating people and promoting St. Christopher’s church as “a more welcoming, affirming and safe church” for everyone.

Affirming and welcoming what, you may wonder: LGBTTTIQQAAs (I’m unsure of the plural of LGBTTTIQQAA – should the final “s” be capitalised, is it plural without the “s”? Who knows. Who cares), of course.

Rev. Hiscock: in my eagerness for maximal inclusion, you have no idea how long I spent looking for the new, hitherto unexplored sexual deviation – the Ally orientation – only to discover, in my frustration and disappointment, that you had no idea what you were talking about. You meant “allies”: allies of the other letters – which, in my unceasing efforts to be a Green Anglican by conserving bandwidth, I won’t repeat.

Unfortunately, Rev. Hollis Hiscock has just been appointed as the new editor of the Niagara Anglican, replacing Chris Grabiec. I look forward with dismay to many more meaningless, misinterpreted acronyms strewn extravagantly amongst the wasteland of degenerate tripe that represents the worst Canadian Anglicanism has to offer.

And it’s all at the taxpayer’s expense.