From here:

An order of friars, fed up at having Bibles stolen from their church, have put up a very unholy warning urging thieves to be struck down from high with – diarrhoea.

The Franciscan Friars have turned the other cheek at a series of brazen thefts of the holy book from pews within their 594-year-old church.

But now they have had enough, and there have been a few raised eyebrows at the tone – and nature – of the bizarre warning that has been posted at the entrance.

In both English and Italian, it reads: ‘We pray to the Lord that these thieves are struck down by a strong case of diarrhoea and that this will be a stimulus for them not to steal.’

If it’s good enough for friars, it’s good enough for me. Bishop Michael Bird won’t know what hit him next time he tries to steal a church building; I have the notice ready to pin on the door.