Scientists from the Austrian Academy of Sciences have grown miniature human brains from skin cells. The diminutive organs are providing a unique insight into how those equipped with pea sized brains –  Anglican Church of Canada bishops and atheists, for example – still manage to think.

One of the qualifications for being a Canadian politician seems to be to have smoked marijuana. A new study suggests that smoking marijuana as an adolescent may cause permanent brain damage; this explains the state of Canadian politics. Luckily a pea sized replacement may soon be available.

President Obama is considering bombing Syria for using gas against Syrian “rebels”, thereby hastening the takeover of Syria by rabid Islamists bent upon the destruction of the West. This is the same gas that, according to Andrew White the Vicar of Baghdad, was hastily moved from Iraq to Syria in 2003. So Obama is planning on attacking Syria for using WMDs that he believes don’t exist. Meanwhile, Donald Rumsfeld, an Iraq war hawk, is denouncing Obama for contemplating military action in Syria. Sometimes I long for the days when people were more predictable.

The Oxford English Dictionary has added a definition of “twerking” to its online (not print) version. It means to “dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance”; for those who, unlike me, wish to perfect the “dance”, there is an instructional video here. As I am sure everyone knows by now, the gyration – which is not unlike a manoeuvre my dog performs when his rectum is itching – has been rendered mainstream by Miley Cyrus, née Hannah Montana, the last hope of Western culture and someone my daughter-in-law really doesn’t want her daughter copying. Not to worry: by the time my granddaughter is a teenager there will be something worse to emulate.

While we are on the subject of dictionaries, my built-in Firefox dictionary has “Osama” in its database but not “Obama”. At least we know who is sinking into obscurity faster.