Tag Archives: Police

British police are fully engaged with the public

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Peter Hitchens thinks that British police are completely useless:

What use are the police these days? We know they have a pretty ambiguous attitude towards us, the public, avoiding us where possible by staying indoors or racing about in cars, and seldom going out alone in case one of  us actually approaches them.

It turns out he is quite wrong about the police being reluctant to approach the public. PC Shaun Jenkins (no relation – at least, I hope not) is a living refutation of the assertion that the police spend their time avoiding British citizenry. He was in Caerphilly – close to a little town called Machen where I lived for a few years – in South Wales in 2010 where, in his enthusiasm to engage with the public, he decided to indulge in sexual intercourse with one of them – a married woman.

Ever prepared to fight crime no matter what the circumstance, the redoubtable PC Jenkins kept his weapon – as it were – at hand at all times: his gun was around his ankles during what the tribunal who investigated the incident described as the equivalent of a “tea break”.

He could, said the tribunal rather optimistically, ‘have been back on duty “within a minute or two”‘ – presumably with his trousers still at ankle level; in every way ready for action.

Tea breaks are not what they used to be.

From the BBC:

An armed police officer who had sex on duty was not sacked because an appeals panel said it was similar to “a tea break”, it has emerged.

PC Shaun Jenkins, 36, was carrying a gun when he met the married woman in a house in Caerphilly in 2010.

They had consensual sex, with his gun still around his ankles.

An appeals tribunal report concluded “it was the sort of delay that will occur if an officer goes to the toilet or into a cafe to buy a cup of tea”.

Gwent Police had initially dismissed PC Jenkins for gross misconduct but he was later reinstated.

The tribunal ruled PC Jenkins could still reach his gun because it was in its holder attached to the belt of his trousers, which were around his ankles.

A report into his conduct found the act did not pose a risk to public safety because he could have been back on duty “within a minute or two”.

Cardboard cut-out police cut crime

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From here:

As part of an effort to cut crime at the Alewife MBTA subway and bus station in Cambridge, transit police placed a cardboard cutout of a police officer in the bicycle cage. Hundreds of people use the racks daily.

Deputy Chief Robert Lenehan says the fake cop, along with video cameras and a new lock, has cut bike thefts by 67 percent.

It’s also a money saver. Lenehan estimates it would cost $200,000 a year to have an officer watch over the cage full-time.

The Anglican Church of Canada could learn something from this: replacing bishops with cardboard cut-out replicas would save Anglicans millions of dollars. No more high salaries; no more travel expenses; no more lawsuits.

The new Z-Cars

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In the 1960s, in addition to the Beatles and LSD, there were the Z-Cars. The long of memory – and tooth – will recognise a very young looking Brian Blessed, Frank Windsor and Judi Dench in this clip – Stratford Johns is absent for some reason.

But, of course, it was really all about the cars. And it still is; the trouble is, they have turned into camper vans and everyone laughs Add an Imageat them. It is hard not to laugh at the police these days, though.

With a top speed of just 80 mph it is more likely to cause traffic jams than strike fear into the hearts of Birmingham’s hardened criminals.

But this camper van, complete with full West Midlands Police livery, has been deployed on the mean streets of Britain’s second city.

Embarrassed officers complain they are being openly mocked every time they are seen driving the 3.5-tonne motor home.

Rejected!

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I applied to join the Pagan Police Group UK, in order to peruse their fascinating web site more fully.

To my chagrin, I just received the following email:

Hi toad,

Your request to join

http://paganpolicegroupuk.moonfruit.com

has not been accepted. The website owner gave the following reason: (if any)

No reason was given. I am left to ponder why: am I not pagan enough? – I did put down “Anglican”; I have a cousin who is a retired policeman, so it can’t be that; I am respectful of other religions, so it can’t be that; I am left with the inescapable conclusion that they fear that, being Welsh, lactating sheep might find me more appealing than the average English policeman and they don’t relish the competition. Sad, really.

How many policemen does it take to subdue one street preacher?

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Judging by this video of the infamous arrest of Dale McAlpine for saying homosexual conduct is a sin, five. It probably takes the entire police force to arrest a burglar.

Here is the transcript from the Christian Institute:

Dale: We’re not out here to break any laws. We want to abide by the law.
There isn’t any law against saying that them things are sins. There isn’t any law against that.

Police: Hello sir. What’ve you been saying, homophobic wise?

Dale: Well, homophobia is hatred towards homosexuals. That’s the definition of homophobia but I’m not a homophobia [sic]. I spoke to your officer earlier and he was upset that I was saying homosexuality was a sin – which is what the Bible says. And I affirm that’s what I say because that’s in the Bible. And there’s no law, there’s no law…

Police: Well there is.

Dale: No there isn’t.

Police: There is. Unfortunately, mate, it’s a breach of Section 5 of the Public Order Act.

Dale: It actually isn’t.

Police: Sir, it’s a…

Dale: We wouldn’t do that because if it was against the law, y’know. Lord Carey, was it Lord – the guy who passed that law in the Houses of Parliament recently – the free speech [inaudible].

Police: [inaudible] It protects free speech to a degree but [inaudible].

Dale’s friend: Actually, I certainly didn’t. These two gentlemen listened to probably all I’ve said. I certainly never mentioned homosexuality.

Police: Yeah, we know.

Dale: The only time I mentioned it was when I was talking to this gentleman here. When I was up on the steps preaching, I didn’t mention it. Even so, y’know, it still is not against the law.

Police: It is against the law. Listen, mate, we’re pretty sure. You’re under arrest for a racially aggravated Section 5 Public Order offence. You don’t have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

Dale: Fair enough.

Police: OK. Do you want to walk this way to our van?



The decline and fall of the British police force

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From here:

Three students were hailed as heroes last night after rescuing a drowning woman – as police stood by and watched.

Graham McGrath, Rosie Lucey and Rhys Black were walking beside the Albert Bridge in Glasgow when they saw the 37-year-old in the River Clyde, shouting for help.

Mr McGrath and Miss Lucey jumped in and pulled her to the bank. Mr Black then waded in and dragged all three ashore.

But as the courageous trio performed the dramatic rescue, Strathclyde Police officers held back worried onlookers on Glasgow’s Albert bridge.

A Strathclyde Police spokesman said: ‘It is not the responsibility of the police to go into the water – it’s the fire and rescue service.’

It’s understandable that police are reluctant to inconvenience themselves by getting wet just to save someone’s life: after all, they are kept so busy arresting Christians. And when not protecting the public from street preachers, they are productively employed cavorting naked at the festival of lactating sheep.

One thing is certain: these days are over:

[flv:https://www.anglicansamizdat.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Dixon_of_Dock_Green.flv 480 360]

The police festival of lactating sheep

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The Pagan Police Group UK has a web site that proudly proclaims 19,702 hits; not a lot, you may think, but considering you have to be a policeman, a pagan and over 18 to join, it’s not bad. I myself applied for membership status in order to peruse the more interesting parts of the site. For pagan affiliation, I inserted “Anglican”; unfortunately, I fear my application may be refused because I am not actually a policeman.

It seems that pagan policemen in the UK can now take holidays in order to prance naked in abandoned bliss on the bacchanalia of their choice; such is the march of progress in an enlightened society:

Being serving police officers, they would no doubt leave their sun worshipping, mead drinking and naked dancing for their days off, not to mention the annual practice of leaving food out for the wandering dead.

As of today, however, pagan police have the right to take their festivals as official holiday after their support group won formal recognition from the Home Office.

The eight main festivals include:

• Samhain — On Hallow’een (October 31), pagans celebrate the dark winter half of the year by leaving food outside for the wandering dead, dressing up as ghosts and casting spells

• Imbolc — the festival of the lactating sheep held on February 2. Pagans pile stones on top of each other and make “priapic wands” to celebrate fertility

• Beltane — on April 30/May 1, pagan and Wicca worshippers celebrate the Sun god. In Celtic times it was an opportunity for unabashed sexuality and promiscuity

• Lammas — On July 31, pagans celebrate harvest time and go on country walks

• Yule — On December 21 pagans go door-to-door singing and burn a yule log to honour Kriss Kringle, the Germanic god of yule.

• Ostra — On March 21 pagans celebrate spring and heap praise on the Sun god

• Litha — or summer solstice. Members drink mead and dance naked to celebrate the harvest

• Mabon — pagans celebrate the autumn equinox with an outdoor feast.

From Mr. Plod to Funboy Bobby

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There was a time when parodying the police was fairly easy:

No longer, though, since policemen now manage it all on their own:

Pc Malcolm Thomas, 40, used the name “funboybobby” to display a series of photographs on an adult dating site.

He described himself as “dominant” and some of the pictures showed him in uniform, carrying his 9mm Glock pistol.

The Metropolitan Police said he was immediately removed from the unit and an investigation was being carried out.