The idea is that if non-Muslim women wear a hijab for a day, for reasons that are not entirely explained, we will have: “Better awareness, greater understanding and a peaceful world.”

So ladies, don your hijabs and prepare to usher in a halcyon era of calm and tranquillity as male concuspience – the root of all conflict – is quenched by the absence of visible female hair. It is the obvious solution for peace in the Middle East. It should work: looking at this, already I feel waves of libido sapping ataraxia overwhelming me: