To celebrate Easter, Father Phil Ritchie recommends staying in bed, eating chocolate and copulating – because going to church isn’t “cool and funky”; whether this has to be done simultaneously is unclear.

I must have missed something: that’s what I used to do before I was a Christian. I am completely indifferent to the “funkiness” of Christianity and its institutions: what I care about is whether it is true or not. If it is, no other reason for attending church is needed; if it isn’t, no amount of “funkiness” could persuade me to attend.

To be fair to Father Phil, this does have one redeeming feature: if at some point I need a self-caricaturing vicar to illustrate how the Church of England submersed itself beneath a morass of trendy irrelevance, I need look no further.

From here:

This could be one religious commandment that a congregation might find very easy to follow.

Father Phil Ritchie from All Saints Church in Hove, East Sussex, has said Easter Sunday is the perfect time for staying in bed, eating chocolate and having sex.

The vicar gave the alternative suggestion for a way to celebrate the resurrection of Christ after admitting that church just isn’t ‘cool and funky’.

Father Ritchie said: ‘The problem with the church is that we stay inside our building and occasionally come out and say “Why don’t you come to our church, it’s cool and funky”.

‘To be honest, it’s not.

‘I would love more people to come at 10am on Sunday and I would welcome them to All Saints.

‘For Christians this is the most important day of the year.All life and all hope flows from it.

‘But there are plenty of ways to celebrate without coming to a draughty Victorian building. So why not stay at home, have a lie in, have sex and eat some chocolate.’