Tag Archives: Diocese of Niagara

Diocese of Niagara: 22 tips on increasing parish revenue

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The Diocese of Niagara has published 22 preaching tips on how to extract more money from parishioners. The inane, clichéd and profoundly meaningless “We are a people of the story” predictably appears in number 4 and number 8 reveals the level of diocesan desperation in that it makes the unprecedented recommendation of using the Bible:

Use the Bible. From the very first book of the Bible, the image of God is one of an abundant, lavish giver. If we are created in God’s own image, then to deny that, we are not allowing ourselves to become what God has made us to be. Look for biblical stories about gratitude and abundance. Remind parishioners that Jesus talked more about money than he did about heaven or prayer.

Number 23 has been omitted for some reason; here it is:

23. If none of the above work, sue the congregation, take their building, sell it and tell everyone you were forced to sue them to preserve heritage diocesan assets for future generations.

Marriage in the Diocese of Niagara

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It’s not what it used to be. A comment from someone prompted me to take another look at the Niagara rite of blessing of civil marriage: it would be used for the blessing of same-sex partners (one of whom has to be baptised – why?), but, presumably could be used to bless heterosexual civil unions too. We are assured in the introduction that the “rite is innovative” – and indeed it is as an excercise in maudlin sentimentality:

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now, there is no more loneliness.
Now you are two persons, but there is one life ahead of you.
Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life together
And may your days be good and long upon the earth

From there it lurches recklessly into the assertion that same-sex attraction and its fulfilment is a sacred God-given gift and a bodily expression of Christ’s perfect love:

In your mercy you befriend those who wander in loneliness and shame, those oppressed because of difference, those who do not know the value of their unique and sacred gift; and by your Holy Spirit you awaken in them the dignity of humankind and the responsibility of embodied love, as perfected in Jesus Christ, who loved and gave himself for us, showing us the way to intimacy with you and with one another.

None of which overshadows the Proclamation of the Word with its suggested secular readings. Here is one from Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, “We two boys together clinging” – a poem about gay love:

WE two boys together clinging,
One the other never leaving,
Up and down the roads going, North and South excursions making,
Power enjoying, elbows stretching, fingers clutching,
Arm’d and fearless, eating, drinking, sleeping, loving.
No law less than ourselves owning, sailing, soldiering, thieving,
threatening,
Misers, menials, priests alarming, air breathing, water drinking, on
the turf or the sea-beach dancing,
Cities wrenching, ease scorning, statutes mocking, feebleness
chasing,
Fulfilling our foray.

Or the couple could select “The Road Goes Ever On”. While it works pretty well in Lord of the Rings, I wonder if the happy couple look forward to wading through the festering marshes of Emyn Muil, only to end up in Mount Doom where the bride will have his finger bitten off and thrown into the molten lava, ring and all.  Although – maybe that’s an apt metaphor.

Apparently, the Diocese of Niagara is too theologically conservative for some

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From the Niagara Anglican (page 8):

Have the gays of the Diocese achieved their goals? Not really. Okay, let’s be honest, not at all. The Diocese of Niagara has agreed upon and published the Niagara Rite of Blessing of Civil marriage. Right? No, actually. This document is to be used at the discretion of individual priests to bless, for example, a gay couple already married in the civil courts. Priests have been able to bless most anything (such as furniture, hymn books, pets) and anyone (such as those going on a long trip) so why was all this effort necessary to enable them to bless same-sex unions? Furthermore, is anyone performing this rite?

But there now is a movement towards the development of a liberal breakaway group. More walking. This concept has matured enough to reach my generally un-political ears. Here is a paraphrase of a recent email:

“The leaders of the Diocese are doing their best but what’s happening is that many genuine seekers of God’s Spirit are being left on the side of the church’s road-way simply because they are homosexual. After years of unsuccessful struggle to make the Anglican Church of Canada inclusive, there is now a very serious call to begin an alternative (liberal) church that expresses no protest, politics, or need for property. They are people who simply want to worship God together by sharing the scriptures and breaking bread in justice and love.”

This tends to confirm my suspicion that General Synod, by neither approving nor condemning the blessing of same-sex unions, has stirred discontent in both conservative and liberal camps. While the stubbornly optimistic are prepared to soldier on under the guise of compromise, the more strident, hot-blooded – if I may be allowed such an oxymoron – Anglicans are still straining in opposite directions.

So while I find it difficult to image a more liberal diocese than Niagara, clearly for some, Niagara is simply too orthodox. For how many, I wonder? Between 3 and 5? More than 5? Surely not more than 10. Will they try to take their buildings with them? Will the diocese find itself in the peculiar position of suing liberals as well as conservatives while trying to persuade the apathetic centre to continue paying for lawyers?

The parish I attend has a potting shed that it might be willing to rent to a breakaway Anglican hyper-liberal cartel.

Pseudo-Christian eco-babble in the Diocese of Niagara

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When I interviewed Dr. George Sumner, principle of Wycliff College recently at the Anglican General Synod, we had the following exchange about attempting to run a program like Fresh Expressions in a diocese that has, for all intents and purposes, abandoned the Gospel:

David: I talked to another of your professors about Fresh Expressions. The concern I raised was what would the techniques he was teaching be used to express – would it be the Gospel?
Rev. Dr. George:  I think encouraging the church to let many flowers bloom evangelistically is good. You know, the flowers will thrive or they’ll die – like the parable of the sower. The fact that the professor in question himself is a theologically grounded is not irrelevant. These things are not just techniques – the Gospel is never a technique.

David: My point is that that was all very well, perhaps, while he was still involved, but once it was handed over to a less than orthodox diocese, it would no longer be a Fresh Expression of the Gospel, but something else.
Rev. Dr. George:  Maybe I’m an optimist.

David: I’m not accused of that very often.

This is a recent video by the Diocese of Niagara extolling the eco-expiatory benefits of using green certified cleaning products. The email contact at the end of the video is freshexpressions@niagara.ca. I’m tempted to send this to Dr. Sumner to curb his optimism.

Rev. Eleanor Clitheroe pension increase denied

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From the CBC:Add an Image

Ontario’s highest court has closed the door on a pension increase for fired Hydro One Inc. executive Eleanor Clitheroe.

Clitheroe sued Hydro One seeking to have her pension raised to $33,644.21 a month — slightly more than the average Hydro One pensioner gets annually.

The lawsuit was originally dismissed, but in appealing the suit to the Court of Appeal Clitheroe noted she worked 16-hour days and earned bonuses for her performance and is the only income earner for a family of four.

In a brief decision released Friday, the court dismissed the appeal saying Clitheroe had made the same arguments at trial and the court agreed with the trial judge’s reasons and conclusion.

Clitheroe’s pension is capped at $25,637.08 a month due to legislation passed by the government that limits executive salaries at the utility.

Clitheroe was dismissed in July, 2002 after weeks of controversy over executive salaries at the publicly owned transmission utility.

Although I am generally against the government interfering with a person’s negotiated pension settlement – and that is what has happened here – I can’t help wondering why, rather than spend a small fortune on lawsuits, Rev. Clitheroe didn’t simply adopt a philosophical, “you win some and you lose some” attitude. It isn’t that hard to live on $25,637.08 per month.

Rev. Clitheroe is now a part-time priest in the Diocese of Niagara; a paid part-time priest. Bishop Michael Bird has written a letter explaining Rev Clitheroe’s financial hardship. Bird points out that “as we are all aware legal matters can sometimes drag on for many years” – and he should know. He appears to be under the impression that Rev. Clitheroe is currently receiving no pension at all, which is, to say the least – odd:

We also understand that the legal matters have been very costly for her and her family, and we do not begrudge her right to seek a peaceful resolution and compensation through the justice system. She has the right to do so, just like all Canadians, and we respect that.

Ellie’s legal issues date back several years, to a time before she was ordained and joined our Diocese as a priest. Naturally, she will want to see those matters concluded, and as we are all aware legal matters can sometimes drag on for many years.

Ellie worked for over twenty‐five years in the private and public sector and received pension compensation for her work. She consistently took her pension with her as she moved from being a lawyer and banker, to deputy minister and then a CEO.

These pension matters have no impact on her compensation for her part time work in the Diocese. She does not currently receive and has not received a pension from Hydro One or the government. She has indicated to me that she hopes that she will receive a pension when she is 65, and that she wishes to use it wisely, in Christian stewardship in support of her family, the community and her church.

This letter is all part of Michael Bird’s Blueprint for Poverty Reduction.

Bishop Michael Bird responds to the “Gaining Respect” article

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The original article is here, and Bishop Bird’s response is in the Letters section of today’s National Post and on Holy Post:

Re: Gaining Respect; St. Hilda’s Parish Is No Longer An Outpost Of Orthodoxy But A More Acceptable Manifestation Of Anglican Faith, Charles Lewis, June 12.

After reading this article I am left asking the question: What criteria did reporter Charles Lewis use in declaring a small group of conservative Christians a “religious revolution”? What he reported on is, in fact, a process of maturation within the world-wide Anglican Communion. It is a lot like adolescence, as people jostle for position in the midst of a debate. Dioceses, like the one I lead, advocate for the full inclusion of gays and lesbians in the life of our Church.

It’s hard to see exactly what point Michael Bird is making here: is he saying that it has taken 2000 years for the Christian Church to reach adolescence, that acts explicitly forbidden in the Bible become acceptable once those engaged in them have “matured”? It seems incoceivable that anyone could really be daft enough to honestly believe this; but, then, Bird does have some pretty strange ideas – see below.

For many of us, the kind of inclusion that Rev. Paul Charbonneau [who opposes same-sex unions, and who led St. Hilda’s Church out of the Anglican Church of Canada] speaks of is not acceptable.

The kind of inclusion that Rev. Paul Charbonneau believes is uncannily similar to the inclusion God advocates: everyone is welcome, but not all activities are equally good or beneficial to those who indulge in them. This is a pretty basic point: man is sinful and the church’s job is not to condone sin but help people turn away from it. Surely that should not be beyond the grasp of a bishop?

What is so ironic is that he is part of a small splinter group that represents less than 2% of Anglicans in North America. They would have us return to a way of thinking that is much closer to the last Reformation that began in the 15th century, as opposed to moving us toward a new Reformation.

The purpose of a Reformation is to return the church to orthodox Christian belief and discard the man-made accretions that tend to accumulate in the institutional church. The Diocese of Niagara is quickly becoming nothing but man-made accretions.

At the heart of our exciting vision for the Diocese of Niagara is a call for prophetic social justice making, a continuous culture of innovation and a strong desire to engage with the people of this generation and walk with them in their search for God and their desire to change the world.

This ends up being little more than leftist political activism.

As Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu has stated: “God just wants us to love each other.” Many, however, say that some kinds of love are better than others. But whether a man loves a woman or another man, or a woman loves a man or another woman, to God it is all love, and God smiles whenever we recognize our need for one another.

I don’t remember God’s injunction for us to love one another including optional genital activity: I must have missed those verses in the Bible.

I will leave it to your readers to decide what a religious revolution really looks like in this day and age.

I’ve decided.

Bishop Michael Bird, Anglican Diocese of Niagara, Hamilton, Ont.

The Anglican Church of Canada wants your money when you die

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Mike and Fred even sent me a letter – presumably in the hope that I sink into advanced dementia before joining the choir invisible – asking to be remembered in my will.

The first sentence of the second paragraph had obviously been partially deleted; one presumes the ACoC can’t afford a proofreader until someone else dies.

I had assumed it should have read something like this:

As you reflect on your contributions to the church, we encourage you to consider including your parish or diocese in your will or in an insurance policy. By designating the church as a beneficiary, you will be strengthening our ability to fulfil God’s mission by continuing to sue ANiC parishes.

But apparently not; according to the Niagara web site the last part of the sentence should read…. “fulfill God’s mission well into the future”. I expect Fred made Mike change that bit.

The 136th synod of the Diocese of Niagara

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will be held on November 13 2010

Please mark your calendars because there will be a great earthquake. The sun will become as dark as black cloth, and the moon will become as red as blood. Then the stars of the sky will fall to the earth like green figs falling from trees shaken by mighty winds. And the sky will roll up like a scroll and be taken away. And all of the mountains and all of the islands will disappear.

And all while Bishop Michael Bird plays his bagpipes.

Selected heresies from the Diocese of Niagara

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Plucked fresh from the May Niagara Anglican:

Jesus is not God:

St. George’s, Guelph, is a free thinking church, where dissent from the faith is permitted, if not encouraged. Everything is open to debate, including the divinity of Christ and the Trinity.

Man is not sinful:

Reservations of St. Augustine’s theology, especially that part which described “humankind as a mass of corruption and sin, or looked upon the world as irredeemably evil.”

The Good News is temporal and unrelated to Jesus atoning for our sins, salvation or eternal life:

“To proclaim the Good News of the Kingdom”…. The Marks of Mission invite the church to begin our ministry where Jesus began his, with proclamation that another way—the kingdom of heaven, the reign of God, a New Creation—has become an available choice within history, and not just a hope for the eternal future.

Jesus is not unique; all religions lead to the same place:

Who’s in charge? No one person or religion, and that’s fine. Let’s work with other religions as a global force doing God’s work and let’s allow our traditional rivalries to die away……

Recently a cartoon was printed of a wall dividing a dry desert from a luscious garden with every fruit tree imaginable in it. In the wall were two gateways; one with “Right Religion” over it, the other with “Wrong Religion.” Everyone, of all races and tribes were clamoring to enter the one marked “Right Religion,” but no one the one labeled “Wrong Religion.” Above were God and some angels. The caption read, “It’s too bad that they just don’t get it.”

Jesus was a heretic and but a caricature of God:

But we do see Jesus, the greatest heretic of all time, but the truest manifestation, or caricature, of God we’ve got, or will ever get.

Faith is shaped not by objective truth, but by experience:

There’s no part of the faith that’s so sacrosanct that it cannot, or should not, be questioned, pulled apart, and put back together again. Faith is not like the multiplication tables. We may question whether six times seven is the same as seven times six, which equals forty two; but it won’t change, no matter how we look at it.