Tag Archives: Diocese of Niagara

Diocese of Niagara performs the Vagina Monologues in cathedral

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Apparently the Diocese of Niagara will try just about anything except Christianity to entice people into its buildings: the place was full for the first time this century.

If you missed it, never fear, there will be a repeat of the fescennine folly at St. George’s Anglican Church, St. Catharines on Valentine’s day.

It’s all part of Living the Vision: coming soon to a church near you.

From here:

I was at the Christ’s Church Cathedral on Tuesday for a special performance of The Vagina Monologues, Eve Ensler’s still controversial (not to mention funny) play about some defining things that make a woman a woman, and a girl a girl.

Throughout the evening words were spoken that presumably had never been heard before in this hallowed space. Four-letter words some of them, with hard consonants, resounding profanely in the Gothic-Revival splendour of vaulted ceilings, stained glass and fluted columns. The hundreds who filled the church on this night would frequently drown out the sound of those words, not with indignant protest but laughter.

I was shocked. You might imagine. A “mainstream” church, with its pews full!?

The cathedral on James North, the centrepiece of the Anglican Diocese of Niagara, was built 1852-1876. Back then they didn’t envision plays in the church, certainly not with such language and content, and certainly not with the lines being delivered by ordained Anglican priests.

Back then, they really would’ve been shocked. You might imagine. But mostly because those ordained priests were … worst outrage of all … women.

Eight of them — female Anglican priests, from Niagara Falls, St. Catharines, Guelph, Cayuga, Hamilton. They dressed in black vestments and red scarves, and at least one in stiletto heels.

Some even now will find it offensive that something called The Vagina Monologues was staged in a church, a sacred place, that priests said the “f” word and worse.

Diocese of Niagara does Tai Chi and Yoga for Lent

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From here (page 6):

Yoga and Tai Chi for Lent
Two clergy in Niagara Diocese are taking seriously Paul’s (1 Corinthians 6:12-20) statement— do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? So glorify God in your bodies—and applying Tai Chi and Yoga to bringing it into life.

[….]

Rather, we have been gifted with this planet and these bodies because this is where God dwells. All flesh is holy and the ground of all human endeavors is sacred. It is in these bodies that we will work out our salvation. Since the only life we know is earthly and sensual, it follows that this is the stuff of our spirituality.”

It was in this spirit, according to Jones and Ash, that St. Paul’s, Westdale introduced Tai Chi and Yoga as spiritual practices in the Christian context. Since the beginning of Lent last year, approximately 20 – 30 people have been gathering every week to practice and celebrate God in their bodies, they reported, and as a fresh expression of the Church, the practice has gathered new people into the Church community.

Lent is supposed to be a time of preparation for Easter, generally through prayer, repentance, almsgiving and self-denial.

Tai Chi and Yoga practiced as merely physical exercise might have some benefit, but, if that’s what the Yoga-priests are after, why not go to the gym for Lent?

The reason, I suspect, lies in the fact that they want to use “Tai Chi and Yoga as spiritual practices in the Christian context”: it’s the spiritual aspects of Tai Chi and Yoga that appeal to the Revs. Owen Ash and Rick Jones. Unfortunately, the spiritual components of Tai Chi and Yoga are rooted in Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism, none of which have much to do with Christianity, let alone Lent.

Still, the Diocese of Niagara doesn’t have much to do with Christianity either, so this doesn’t come as much of a surprise, particularly as Tai Chi starts with a meditation on emptiness, or wu chih in Taoism – diocese of Niagara priests are adept at meditating on emptiness. Just listen to one of their sermons.

Some parishes in the Diocese of Niagara want to get rid of their clergy

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In their zeal to be frugal, it seems that some Niagara parishes are considering firing their clergy. Bishop Michael Bird isn’t happy with this and has sent out a letter scolding parishes tempted to subvert his vision of a Generous Culture of Stewardship in this way:

We have heard of several parishes that are considering a motion at their Annual Vestry meeting to reduce the level of clergy staffing to save money in the parish budget. We want to remind clergy and churchwardens that the appointment of licensed clergy and lay workers and the conditions of their employment are under the purview of the Bishop (not the Vestry). To entertain such a motion has ethical and legal implications, reaching far beyond budgetary concerns.

Impecunious parishes need not despair, though: the letter goes on to offer a vague hope of diocesan assistance. I expect the bishop will be donating a portion of his $112,000 stipend to flagging congregations. Those wishing to apply for grants should send an email to: bishop@niagara.anglican.ca.

 

 

Diocese of Niagara: Frodo and Gandalf walk down the aisle hand in hand

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The Diocese of Niagara has a liturgy for blessing same sex marriages.

Those same sex couples who are a little uncomfortable with some of the things the Bible has to say about their nocturnal hanky panky, needn’t worry since they can choose a “secular reading” for the Proclamation of the Word. And why not? After all, the Bible has no place in today’s Anglican church; neither does God, come to think of it.

One of the readings is J.R.R Tolkien’s “The Road Goes Ever On”; it can be found in The Hobbit and in Lord of The Rings where it works very well. I’m not sure that it is quite so well suited to the Proclamation of the Word, though. One can only hope that, after reciting it, the happy couple both disappear when they put their rings on.

The Diocese of Niagara production of the Vagina Monologues, starring female clergy

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No, I’m not joking; from here (Page 5):

Last spring I approached the Reverend Val Kerr, Board member of Bethlehem Housing and Support Services, with the idea of doing a V-Day Production of the Vagina Monologues as a fund raiser for Bethlehem. She liked the idea, and the plan was launched.

Our cast is made up of Women Clergy in the Niagara Diocese who are passionate about stopping violence against not only women but all people.

For those unfamiliar with the work, here is a short extract:

I call it cunt. I’ve reclaimed it, “cunt.” I really like it. “Cunt.” Listen to it. “Cunt.” C C. Ca Ca. Cavern, cackle, clit, cute, come-closed c-closed inside, inside ca-then u-then cu-then curvy, inviting sharkskin uuniform, under, up, urge, ugh, ugh, u — then n then cun — snug letters fitting perfectly together — n — nest, now, nexus, nice, nice, always depth, always round in upper case, cun, cun-n a jagged wicked electrical pulse-n (high pitched noise) then soft n-warm n — cun, cun, then t — then sharp certain tangy t — texture, take, tent, tight, tantalizing, tensing, taste, tendrils, time, tactile, tell me, tell me “Cunt cunt,” say it, tell me “Cunt.” “Cunt.”

As you can see, it’s about as edifying as the average Diocese of Niagara Synod.

Diocese of Niagara: distributive justice is the primary message of the Bible

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Forget about individual sin, eternity, Jesus dying for our sins, reconciliation with God, the cross, the Atonement, the Resurrection, glorifying God as a purpose for living. At last the true message of the Bible can be revealed, courtesy of the Niagara Anglican. It’s all about the government taking money from people whom it thinks have too much and giving it to people who have too little – in practice, government employees.

The Bible is full of examples of Jesus petitioning the Romans to take money from the wealthy and give it to the poor; I just can’t put my finger on any at the moment.

As Jesus said in Luke 6:20: “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of the welfare state.”

From here (page 8):

On the weekend in mid-October when the Occupy Wall Street movement appeared in cities in Canada and around the world, a Biblical scholar explicated the timeless message of God’s will, as taught by Jesus, Paul and the Old Testament prophets, for distributive justice for all peoples. His key phrase, distributive justice, refers to a peaceful, democratic community with an economy characterized by a just distribution of the essentials of life, as opposed to the injustice that characterizes a military dictatorship claiming to bring peace through victory.

[….]

The necessary revolution in our age, as in Jesus’ time, is to create God’s kingdom of distributive justice in our earthly societies. This is also the primary message of the Bible.

 

According to the Diocese of Niagara, God loves Muslims more than ANiC Christians

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Until now I had laboured under the impression that God loves everyone equally: sinners, saints, Christians, Muslims – and so on. Not so, according to the Niagara Anglican, the newspaper of the Diocese of Niagara.

Apparently he loves Muslims more than dissenters; and by dissenters, our author is referring to ANiC parishioners who departed the Anglican Church of Canada because it blesses same-sex marriages – although this is merely the tip of the heretical iceberg.

Were it not for the absence of an editorial comment distancing the paper from the remark, one might be tempted to dismiss it as yet another crackpot notion from Michael Burslem, a regular contributor to the paper. As it is, it obviously meets editorial and diocesan standards – and probably approval (the article is not online yet):

I’m equally convinced that God loves Muslims more than dissenters; those who cause bitter dissent and even schism in congregations and dioceses that a portion should up and leave. Since God loves us all, there is nothing that should cause us to love one another less than He does, even such subjects as the same-sex debate. Paul condemned settling matters in court as he did homosexual relations. He preferred all to be celibate as himself. However, Paul is not the Law, any more than the Bible is, and thanks be to God no one is saved by obeying the law, Paul’s the Bible or any other.

 

 

 

Diocese of Niagara: the wolves are circling

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From here:

Reflecting upon yesterday’s Supreme Court of Canada’s decision, Bishop Michael Bird, states: “The decision clears the way for us to proceed to a trial involving the disputed ownership of three parishes in the Diocese of Niagara. This matter has been deliberated upon at every level of our Canadian legal system and this most recent decision must surely remove any question as to our ownership of these properties. Like our counterparts in British Columbia, the issue of same-sex relationships is well behind us and we are fully engaged in the work of mission and re-visioning our church as it engages with and serves the people of this generation. The diocese has been very patient over these years but now we hope that this property dispute can be resolved quickly.”

The Diocese of Niagara has instructed its legal counsel to move forward expeditiously to bring this matter to trial.

Enjoy the orange carpet, Mike.

The Diocese of Niagara continues its ministry: closing orthodox churches

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While the Diocese of Niagara attempts to gain possession of ANiC church buildings for which it has no use other than to line its coffers, it continues to disestablish orthodox parishes – for which it has no use, other than to line its coffers.

From here:

Why was All Saints closed?

All Saints church in Niagara Falls retained the traditional, orthodox faith in the Trinity and the Gospel message of Jesus Christ. It was a small, but growing congregation, having doubled its membership under a priest who provided the Gospel message, was faithful in pastoral care and attracted young families with their children.

With the closing of All Saints, the sale of its parish hall, plus the acquisition of All Saints trust funds, the Diocese of Niagara gleaned more than $480,000.

In 2007, the congregation of All Saints was given only a two-day notice that the church was to be closed in one month’s time. The congregation, due to the church’s vitality, was taken by shock.

Niagara Falls was informed the diocese wished to remove the 150-year-old oak pews despite the fact that a promise had been made to allow weddings and funerals to take place at All Saints. In response to the huge outcry from the citizens of Niagara Falls, through a petition to protect the unique interior and exterior of the building, the bishop met with representatives of the congregation. But nothing changed.

For the next two years, the congregation tried to persuade the diocese to allow them to return and finally offering to buy the church they had so faithfully looked after for 150 years for ministry and service. Every request to the diocese was rejected. Thankfully, a local church offered their premises and Anglican priests provided a service of communion one Sunday afternoon per month. When the congregation wished to meet more often, the devoted divided between a local church and a St. Catharines church that provided the faith of the founding fathers following the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Many former congregants of All Saints still meet on a regular basis and provide significant outreach both locally and globally. Their faith is a continuum that is remarkable. Of course, it has been an extremely unfortunate time for the faithful of this historic landmark, but prayerfully it will continue to serve and be a reminder of God’s presence in our city of Niagara Falls.

Donna Parkhill

Chair of the All Saints steering committee Niagara Falls

 

The state of Christian belief in the Diocese of Niagara

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All faiths are one, making Jesus not unique, his atoning sacrifice unnecessary and his incarnation irrelevant.

All religions are “manifestations of the Creator” including, presumably, the Pana Wave Doomsday Cult, the Happy Science Religion and the International Werewolf Religion and Secret Society.

Christians are not called to convert people of other faiths – why bother, they are all the same.

If the church jettisons everything that is peculiar to Christianity, society will respect and accept it. Or, as seems more likely, ignore it.

Bishop Michael Bird appears to be going along with all this.

So, the state of Christianity in the Diocese of Niagara is that it is no longer Christianity; it doesn’t even faintly resemble Christianity.

From the Niagara Anglican (page 4):

A great milestone of 20th century and early 21st century Christianity is that we have begun to learn to communicate with and understand other world religions. Whereas in the past we labeled non-Christians “pagans” and sought to convert them, now we realize that no theology is superior.

Theologians have long realized that, at the mystical level, all faiths are one. Even at the everyday level of belief, we can see that all religions are manifestations of the Creator and that all believers are called to worship God and to seek the well-being of all our neighbors, human and non-human.

Only when the leaders of the world’s religions work together, as political leaders are learning to do, will there be an end to war and environmental degradation. Both of these age-old activities hurt and destroy God’s holy creation: planet earth and its species.

Our church is beginning to rethink and restate our beliefs in ways that our society can respect and accept. We cannot turn back, only forge ahead, holding to the teachings and example of Jesus and his way of love. Forgiveness, compassion and courage are needed as liberals learn to articulate our faith and invite conservatives to consider it.

According to Bishop Michael in his recent visit to St. Thomas’, we are in the midst of theological and ecclesiastical turmoil of an order not seen since the Reformation. We have to get a handle on “Living the Questions” to help us reach out to those who have already asked such questions—those who long to return to the church and those who long to stay.