Suspicious Man in the Diocese of New Westminster

Update: it seems that some spoilsport in the diocese has taken this item off the site – perhaps out of embarrassment. It hasn’t been up long enough to be caught in Google cache but you can see I didn’t make it up – I have a fertile imagination, but not that fertile – by looking here, where you can see it’s the top hit. And for the pathologically sceptical, I’ve reproduced the original from my browser cache. Yes, I know I *could* have Photoshopped it – but why would I – really, as if I didn’t have better things to do.

I’m not sure why this would be news, but the Diocese of New Westminster reports that a Suspicious Man attended one of its meetings:Add an Image

Suspicious Man Attends Church Meeting

Unknown man with empty briefcase appears unannounced at Church Meeting

A suspicious middle-aged man attended the Diocese of New Westminster’s Report from General Synod Evening at Christ Church Cathedral, Tuesday, June 29th. He arrived clutching a 1970’s style briefcase that he kept very close to his person during the meeting.

Security personnel were notified and asked him to reveal the contents of the briefcase. The mystery man opened the briefcase revealing that it was absolutely empty, he than grabbed the briefcase and vanished out the door into the summer evening.

If anyone recognizes this individual please do not approach as he seems unstable. Immediately notify the church police.

Reports that he was there to apply for the job of bishop have not been substantiated – so far.

9 thoughts on “Suspicious Man in the Diocese of New Westminster

  1. Oh my goodness this is actually for real.

    Now that’s funny 🙂

    Seems unstable, now that’s what I call an understatement. This man attended a General Synod Evening for the fun of it…let’s face it, that’s seriously disturbed…..

    • Yes, it’s unfairly funny, really; how is one supposed to compete? If I thought Ingham had a sense of humour, I’d suspect a spoof.

      I can’t help wondering what “church police” are, too. Not many dioceses have their own police, although this is New – we are rarely out of the law-courts – Westminster.

  2. A man who is not expected and not recognized shows up. Hm?

    He has a briefcase. Oh.

    This all sounds very strange.
    So he asked to open his briefcase which turns out to to empty! Oh oh.

    I wonder. Was this meeting sometime in the afternoon? Reason why I ask is that it is widely known that many people use a briefcase as a lunchbox. Anyone stop to think about that?
    Appearently not. Instead his picture is taken.

    He suddenly leaves. Suspicous.
    (What would any reasonable person do after being photographed, questioned, and searched?)
    Surely this man must have been up to something. Perhaps he is a spy!

    Or perhaps he is a Parishioner who was in the area and was interested in hearing the report.

    Seems to me that the DoNW is a bit paranoid. But then again, those who are paranoid usually have something to hide.

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