A couple from the Church of Satan has complained that someone stole a “Vote Satan” sign from their front porch.

Normally I would have sympathy for the victims of vandals curtailing the free expression of religious zealots but in this instance, I do believe that the outraged Satanists don’t have much of a case. The eighth commandment says: “Thou shalt not steal”. The Church of Satan says: “Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!”

Fair enough: if Satan represents not just theft, but all the sins, the hapless sin-loving Satanists should encourage the vandals in their endeavours – making sure they are out of the way before the hoodlums move on to breaking commandment number six in their quest for further “emotional gratification”.

From here:

A Satanist couple in Mountain View, Calf., says they’re the victims of religious discrimination after someone stole their “VOTE SATAN” poster from their front porch.
Luigi and Angie Bellaviste belong to the Church of Satan, reports CBS News, and have their home decorated with satanic paraphernalia, including a black Christmas tree, skulls and the numbers 666.

But someone recently made off with their most prominent display, the election-style sign hanging from the front of their house. And they want it officially dubbed a hate crime.

“I feel like we’re being treated unfairly because it’s not a so-called mainstream religion,” Luigi said.