The next step for Anglicans: drag queen blessings

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Anglican Church of Canada archdeacon, the Venerable M. Edward Simonton, has been in India and, in his peripatetic meandering, bumped into a number of transvestites: Hijra, some of whom, in their enthusiasm to embrace their inner woman, have had their penis, testicles and scrotum removed. Coming, as he does, from the Diocese of Montreal, the worthy archdeacon understandably felt quite at home in this milieu.

Would we not have “a different church” if we hired transvestites “to give blessings on a Sunday” he muses? Not that much different, surely.

From here:

Anyway, it just goes to show how different the world can be. A transvestite in Western culture would never be treated with religious awe let alone respect. I need not mention the history of persecution by western religions. I will also not get into Jungian concepts of the Sacred Hermaphrodite in pagan and classical religion but simple point out that the concept of a third gender is common to most cultures. Just not ours.

Still wouldn’t it be a different church if instead of persecuting transvestites we hired them to give blessings on a Sunday? And, hey, no jokes about men already dressing up in coloured ‘dresses’ every week to do just this! I know that transvestites are not the same as drag queens (the later are entertainers) but my mind immediately jumps to finale of Pricilla Queen of the Desert (the depictions are of indigenous Australian animals and the Sydney opera house). There are few church services I have been to that could not have benefitted immensely from a drag queen blessing thrown in at some point.

No more free Viagra for the Canadian military

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From the CBC:

There could soon be less spring in the step of those at National Defence as the department considers halting the decade-old practice of distributing free Viagra to the troops.

Also under consideration is the cancellation of taxpayer-funded sex-reassignment surgery for members of the military.

[….]

Within government, officials have expressed concern for years about the rising cost of the wildly popular Viagra program, which saw members limited to six of the little blue pills a month — at a cost of between $15 and $22 per pill.

The drug is used to treat erectile dysfunction in men.

When introduced in 2000, the government justified supplying the prescription wonder drug to troops as a health policy meant to ensure all soldiers were mentally fit and ready for the battlefield.

I can certainly see the reason for our military – and I am trying to empathise here – wanting to maintain a steady flow of free Viagra.

After all, a bunch of wimps with erectile dysfunction could hardly sally forth into battle crying this with much conviction, could they?

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o’erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O’erhang and jutty his confounded base,

The last goodbye

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Islam harbours some strange ideas: the 72 virgins that await suicide bombers, female genital mutilation, niqabs, child brides, forbidding women’s education, and so on.

A law about to be introduced by Egypt’s Islamist government will provide permission for husbands to copulate with their wives for up to six hours after they die. Lest anyone denounce this as sexist, women will have the same opportunity.

How many husbands – or wives – have been clamouring for this law, one wonders? Has this been a common, but illegal practice, up until now? Why six hours – does it only become necrophilia at 6 hours and one minute?

From here:

Egyptian husbands will soon be legally allowed to have sex with their dead wives – for up to six hours after their death.

The controversial new law is part of a raft of measures being introduced by the Islamist-dominated parliament.

It will also see the minimum age of marriage lowered to 14 and the ridding of women’s rights of getting education and employment.

[….]

The subject of a husband having sex with his dead wife arose in May 2011 when Moroccan cleric Zamzami Abdul Bari said marriage remains valid even after death.

He also said that women have the right to have sex with her dead husband, alarabiya.net reported.

Meanwhile, an Egyptian comedian has been convicted of insulting Islam. He must be an ingenious fellow to have found a way to insult a religion that cheerfully promotes having sex with dead people.

On retirement

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With so many people unemployed and desperate for a job, a part of me feels guilty for thinking this way; but I do, so here it is:

In March 2012 I was 65. I had planned to retire at 65 but didn’t because the thought of sitting in my study, fiddling with computers and being paid to do so seemed like too good a thing to cavalierly toss away.

I had hoped that the company I work for – AT&T and, indirectly IBM – would pay to put me out to pasture. In fact, I have been working diligently to make my betters see the virtue of this by being a little more odious at every passing year; alas, to no avail.

It is like a game of chicken: who will capitulate first? Since I have accumulated 38 years of what is laughably known as “service”, my employer would have to pay me to depart – unless I do so of my own volition. Thus, as my 65th birthday approached, I imagined numerous VP’s rubbed their hands in delirious glee at the prospect of ridding themselves of a 38 year irritant. Anticipating that, I gritted my teeth, stayed the course, grasped the nettle  and – here I remain.

So, dear management, in the unlikely event that any of you are reading this: I am holding fast until you bribe me to go. Call me and we will discuss terms.

I love capitalism.

Train up a child in the way he should go

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And when he is old, he will not depart from it.

From here:

A proposal from the Obama administration to prevent children from doing farm chores has drawn plenty of criticism from rural-district members of Congress. But now it’s attracting barbs from farm kids themselves.

The Department of Labor is poised to put the finishing touches on a rule that would apply child-labor laws to children working on family farms, prohibiting them from performing a list of jobs on their own families’ land.

Under the rules, children under 18 could no longer work “in the storing, marketing and transporting of farm product raw materials.”

This is quite understandable: if children expect to have to work for a living, they won’t demand a free lunch from the government when they grow up; the government will lose control of who gets what and people will start suspecting that we could get by with less government. That would never do.

Go and sin some more – and take photos

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John tells the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8. No-one condemns her after Jesus says: “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jesus doesn’t condemn her either, but says: “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

How does the church cope with this type of situation today? Since it doesn’t place much emphasis on – or even believe in, in many cases – sin, it takes a different approach.

All Saints Church–Community Centre in Toronto is giving prostitutes – or “sex-trade workers” as the current circumlocution has it – cameras for them to “tell their stories” – while plying their trade, one presumes. The idea is that this will “empower” them. I can certainly foresee new opportunities for blackmail; perhaps that is what is meant by “empower”.

From the Journal:

A photography project to empower women who work in the sex trade has raised about $38,000 for the drop-in program at All Saints Church–Community Centre in downtown Toronto, where the project began.

Carly Kalish, a full-time social worker hired by the church, dreamed up the idea of giving 10 women disposable cameras and photography lessons as a way to tell their stories. The result was The Exposure Project, an exhibition of 33 images at Holy Trinity Church in downtown Toronto. The exhibition ended in a fundraiser on April 19 which attracted a sold-out crowd of 250 people. Most of the photos, which were professionally framed, sold for $75 to $200 each; gala ticket sales and donations further boosted the bottom line.

While the photographers did not attend the gala themselves, they did bring partners and friends to a private viewing beforehand. “It was just breathtaking to see them see their own work,” says Kalish. “They were so proud of themselves.”

Anglicans call for….. you’ll never guess

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Dialogue!

New Zealand’s Christ Church Cathedral was irreparably damaged by an earthquake and a diocesan synod motion proposes to knock it down and build “an inspirational cathedral on the current site to the glory of God”. The trouble is, the new structure will be made of inspirational cardboard.

Not everyone is happy about having a cardboard cathedral in the neighbourhood, so various clergy are proposing to have a conversation with the cardboardophobics. This invites a question: which will disintegrate first, the cardboard, institutional Anglicanism or the dialogue?

From here:

The Anglican Church will have a “comprehensive dialogue” with South Islanders on the future of Christ Church Cathedral.

About 300 clergy and lay representatives from the 71 parishes in the Anglican diocese met at a Christchurch synod on Saturday.

A motion was passed unanimously at the meeting to consult with people about the cathedral. The motion stated that the synod “undertakes a comprehensive dialogue process with the citizens of Christchurch, Canterbury, the West Coast and the city council towards determining the future of the city’s Anglican cathedral”.

The motion affirmed the decision that “Christ Church Cathedral will be deconstructed to a safe level”.

The Rev Mike Coleman proposed the section of the motion calling for dialogue.

 

Keeping the skies safe from 4 year old girls

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To make everyone feel better about this, I would like to emphasise that no profiling whatsoever – racial, religious, or otherwise – was performed by the airport Stasi in their efforts to purge dangerous Grandmas, 4 year olds and teddy bears from our fragile skies.

As an aside, when I flew to Athens last year, while I was being probed by prurient gloved hands as I struggled to hold my beltless pants up, a 350lb Muslim lass, swathed from head to foot, waddled past me untouched to plant herself resolutely in two seats in the centre of the plane. I’m convinced there was at least one stowaway under her burka.

My two young children, aged four and six, were particularly excited their Grandmother was catching the same flight out of Wichita. Since she lives in California, and we live in Montana, they’ve never had a chance to fly with her. Tired and eager to return home, we began passing through security. My children and I went through without an incident. My Mother, however, had triggered the alarm. She was asked to go through the scanners again, and when the source of the alarm could not be identified she was told to sit aside and await a pat-down. All of this was perfectly routine.

When my Four-year-old daughter noticed her Grandmother, she excitedly ran over to give her a hug, as children often do. They made very brief contact, no longer than a few seconds. The Transportation Security Officers (TSO) who were present responded to this very simple action in the worst way imaginable.

First, a TSO began yelling at my child, and demanded she too must sit down and await a full body pat-down. I was prevented from coming any closer, explaining the situation to her, or consoling her in any way. My daughter, who was dressed in tight leggings, a short sleeve shirt and mary jane shoes, had no pockets, no jacket and nothing in her hands. The TSO refused to let my daughter pass through the scanners once more, to see if she too would set off the alarm. It was implied, several times, that my Mother, in their brief two-second embrace, had passed a handgun to my daughter.

My child, who was obviously terrified, had no idea what was going on, and the TSOs involved still made no attempt to explain it to her. When they spoke to her, it was devoid of any sort of compassion, kindness or respect. They told her she had to come to them, alone, and spread her arms and legs. She screamed, “No! I don’t want to!” then did what any frightened young child might, she ran the opposite direction.

That is when a TSO told me they would shut down the entire airport, cancel all flights, if my daughter was not restrained. It was then they declared my daughter a “high-security-threat”.