Me: Your mother didn’t answer the phone, so I left a message
GD: She won’t get it; she doesn’t listen to her messages.
Me: Why not?
GD: Because normal people don’t use the phone to speak to people, they text.
Me: I didn’t know that. Are you getting together with the friend that you haven’t seen in a while?
GD: Yes.
Me: Will you speaking to her or texting?
GD: Don’t be silly, normal people speak when they are face to face.
Me: That’s a relief. Did you see the photo I posted on Facebook of Grandma while we were out by the river today?
GD: I don’t use Facebook. Why don’t you post it on Instagram like normal people.
Me: It got 8 likes!
GD: That’s sad.
Me: Why?
GD: Only 8 likes, that’s pathetic. The photo I posted of me shopping this afternoon has 70 likes.
Me: Grandma posted a picture of me, too; it got 9 likes.
GD: That’s because she has more followers not because people like photos of you.
Me: You’re probably right. What should I do to get more likes, then?
GD: It’s easy. Go to trendy clothes stores, buy something and post a photo of the bag.
Me: I buy my clothes at Value Village.
GD: Well, you need more followers. Follow trendy people and hope that they follow you back.
Me: I don’t know any trendy people. Even if I did, I’d pay not to have to listen to what they say, so why would I follow them?
GD: Grandpa, you’re hopeless. Say something about trendy people, then and use a hastag.
Me: Can I say something rude about them?
GD: Do you want to be sued again?
Me: #no
GD: Normal people say nice things about other people.
All this confirms what I’ve long suspected: #borninthewrongcentury.
I should point out that both of us were laughing our heads off throughout this exchange.
It’s always nice to know you’re not normal 😀
Sounds like a conversation I had with my granddaughter. It was worse when I still had my flip phone.