If I ruled the world, every day would be a gloomy kind of thing,
This would be the only song that you could sing.
And we’d stone you if you have a little fling.

If I ruled the world, every beard would be big enough for nesting birds,
Every voice would be suppressed, never heard,
Take my word, you would hate each day that occurred.

My world would be a sharia place,
Where burglars would lose their extremities.
My world would cover every beautiful face
With a sack that comes right down to your knees.

If I ruled the world, I would drive each person around the bend.
There’d be jihad that no man could end,
No my friend, not if I ruled the world.
Every head would be held up high
On a pole: gays would be the first to die.
If the day ever dawned when I ruled the world.

© 2011 by grinning dwarf nuclear powered music.

With apologies to Tony Bennett: