Category Archives: Paganism

By the pricking of my thumbs, no prison spells on taxpayer funds

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Not yet at least.

In the name of religious freedom, incarcerated pagans in B.C., have requested a shaman chaplain to assist them in the casting of spells and double doubling their toil and trouble. Oddly enough the request has been denied.

In the interests of full inclusion, I am anticipating ecumenical intervention on their behalf by Bishop James Cowan – in time for the winter solstice.

From here:

Public Safety Minister Vic Toews appears less concerned about the quality of spells cast from behind bars than he is about a backlash from taxpayers, cancelling a Corrections Canada tender for a priest to nurture the spiritual needs of witches in prison.

Earlier this week, the federal prison agency put out a request for a proposal for a Wiccan chaplain in British Columbia who would provide about 17 hours of service a month, about an hour less service than the department says it needs for the Jewish faith.

About an hour after The Canadian Press reported on the contract, a statement from Toews’s office said it will not proceed until after a review.

 

The police festival of lactating sheep

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The Pagan Police Group UK has a web site that proudly proclaims 19,702 hits; not a lot, you may think, but considering you have to be a policeman, a pagan and over 18 to join, it’s not bad. I myself applied for membership status in order to peruse the more interesting parts of the site. For pagan affiliation, I inserted “Anglican”; unfortunately, I fear my application may be refused because I am not actually a policeman.

It seems that pagan policemen in the UK can now take holidays in order to prance naked in abandoned bliss on the bacchanalia of their choice; such is the march of progress in an enlightened society:

Being serving police officers, they would no doubt leave their sun worshipping, mead drinking and naked dancing for their days off, not to mention the annual practice of leaving food out for the wandering dead.

As of today, however, pagan police have the right to take their festivals as official holiday after their support group won formal recognition from the Home Office.

The eight main festivals include:

• Samhain — On Hallow’een (October 31), pagans celebrate the dark winter half of the year by leaving food outside for the wandering dead, dressing up as ghosts and casting spells

• Imbolc — the festival of the lactating sheep held on February 2. Pagans pile stones on top of each other and make “priapic wands” to celebrate fertility

• Beltane — on April 30/May 1, pagan and Wicca worshippers celebrate the Sun god. In Celtic times it was an opportunity for unabashed sexuality and promiscuity

• Lammas — On July 31, pagans celebrate harvest time and go on country walks

• Yule — On December 21 pagans go door-to-door singing and burn a yule log to honour Kriss Kringle, the Germanic god of yule.

• Ostra — On March 21 pagans celebrate spring and heap praise on the Sun god

• Litha — or summer solstice. Members drink mead and dance naked to celebrate the harvest

• Mabon — pagans celebrate the autumn equinox with an outdoor feast.

Pagans show up at Stonehenge on the wrong day

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But at least they were early for church:

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It’s one of the oldest celebrations in the world and has drawn visitors to Stonehenge for centuries.

But 300 pagans were left red-faced yesterday after they arrived at the prehistoric monument a day early for the winter solstice.

The crowd had met at the mystical site in Wiltshire to mark the shortest day of the year, normally December 21, but this year the solstice did not become official until the early hours of this morning.

So they were forced to spend a cold night shivering outside in their full-length cloaks.

Rowan Williams wasn’t there – no, really, he wasn’t.

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