The Amalgamated Transit Union competes with the soporific ticket collector to see who can be funnier:
The Amalgamated Transit Union says it is ‘‘discouraging’’ that TTC riders did not check on the well-being of a collector at the centre of a media firestorm after he was photographed apparently asleep on the job……. The reports that passengers were laughing at him as they passed by the booth makes this even more disturbing.
The Amalgamated Transit Union want to reassure the public that the tram drivers never fall asleep on the job and are disturbed that anyone would have the effrontery to suggest it.
Anglican extremism in action:
An extremist Anglican group is infiltrating church fetes and vicarage tea parties in a plot to radicalise churchgoers, according to the anti-terrorist squad.
The group, MoreT4Uvicar, is believed to have close links with Al-cester, with some members allegedly attending training camps in the town.
But the group says that the training camps only provide religious instruction, choir practice and bell-ringing classes.
It’s alleged that the money raised at the events is laundered and used to build and maintain strategically placed fortified stone towers throughout the country.
‘We’re concerned about MoreT4Uvicar and the paramilitary infrastructure being built right under our noses,’ said the head of the anti-terrorist squad. ‘We want to ensure that innocent church-going folk understand the dangers of paying 20p for a slice of Victoria Sponge to these people.’
I’ve never liked ties much, but this antique advertisement for them tickles my fancy:
This is how we cure our dog’s bad breath:
The winner is a staple of all authentic Anglican Machiavellianism. It is:
The Listening Process.
The winning phrase combines all the necessary qualities: