Diocese of Niagara threatens me with a lawsuit

It’s encouraging to know I have the attention of the Diocese of Niagara, but it appears they have absolutely no sense of humour and want to shut me up. I don’t have the details yet, but they are threatening a defamation of character suit, apparently. The pursuit of excellence through compulsive suing.

And all because I just happened to mention the fact that M—–l P——-n has been telling l–s.

Read it all here while you still can.

Casting out the money changers

There was some disagreement on Stand Firm about the legitimacy of my excursion into a diocesan service at St. Hilda’s building to take photos of the inside of the church while the service was in progress. Many people supported my action and some didn’t. I subscribe to a devotional called Every Day With Jesus, and by one of those interesting God-coincidences that occur from time to time, I found this in my inbox this morning:

The next quality of our Lord we consider is His courage. His was not the excited, desperate courage of a battlefield, but the quiet courage He displayed when He confronted difficult issues. Take the matter we have read about today – the cleansing of the Temple. It took great courage on our Lord’s part to walk into the Temple, drive out the money-changers, and insist that His Father’s house be kept as a house of prayer, as the comparable accounts in Matthew and Mark tell us. But He didn’t hesitate to do so. He was angry, of course, but His anger was righteous, not unrighteous, anger. What’s the difference?

Righteous anger arises from grief at what is happening to another; unrighteous anger arises from a grudge at what is happening to oneself. I don’t know about you, but I feel righteously angry at some things that are happening in parts of the Church today – such as the ordination to the ministry of practising homosexuals, the performance of civil partnership ceremonies for people of the same sex and the presentation of discourses based on mere personal opinion and focus group ideas rather than the Word of God.

What do you think our Lord would do if He were here in the flesh today? I think He would make His way into these churches and would say: ‘Get these out of here!’ As followers of Christ, we must have the same kind of righteous anger – an anger that causes us to stand up and say: ‘Such things ought not to be happening.’ Let us be clear, I am not advocating a harsh lovelessness towards those involved in any of the situations mentioned in the previous paragraph. I am simply saying that we should be like Jesus and not compromise on clear moral and spiritual issues.

I don’t usually set too much store by this kind of apparent coincidence, but it did tickle my fancy.

Loving your enemies Diocese of Niagara style

Having recovered from my exciting adventures at the Diocese of Niagara’s Easter Sunday service, I thought I would take a look at how the diocese likes to portray itself:

St. Hilda’s is an Anglican Church in the Diocese of Niagara. To be an Anglican in Niagara is to love Jesus, it is to love the Word of God in Scripture and through them to learn to love not only our neighbours, but our enemies as well. In Christ we learn that we really have no enemies, only brothers and sisters. Together we are called to live like Him, as God’s children, striving to serve goodness in our hearts in our homes and in the world. All are welcome as we learn and grow together in this journey of faith.

Now I don’t regard the diocesan bouncer as my enemy, I really don’t. But, even though I have been accused of being a socially maladroit misfit unable to pick up and adapt to the subtle niceties of acceptable behaviour, I have this funny feeling that when someone shoves you hard, they don’t like you very much. So I fear the bouncer saw me as an enemy.

Perhaps the diocese should revise its description to include: “See how these Christians shove one another!”

How to become a greeter in the Diocese of Niagara

The Diocese of Niagara has a rigorous training program for greeters in diocesan parishes. After scouring the civilised world for an archetype upon which to model diocesan greeters, they found this:

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For those who feel they have the stamina needed for the necessary education and genetic modifications please apply here.

A brief guide to prophetic social justice making

Whenever I am unfortunate to encounter a phrase like “prophetic social justice making” I know that I am about to witness an attempt at meaning antipode: everything is the opposite of what it appears to be.

The very title betrays itself since to prophesy in the Old Testament sense, means to foretell something that will happen in the future not, as is clearly intended here, to manipulate the present to conform it to the speaker’s culturally narrowed prejudice.

I do enjoy receiving the Niagara Anglican; not for its content which appeals mainly to the North American Maoist manqué, but because I know it has cost the Diocese of Niagara money to deliver it to my door.

“Prophetic social justice making” is just one of the gems that can be found in the latest issue.

This article presents a wealth of stultiloquence from which to draw but a few paragraphs stand out:

Bishop Michael has already spoken out for the need of a comprehensive poverty reduction strategy for Ontario, committed us to the Millennium Development Goals, and called upon all of us to be better custodians of creation. To add to this, he has also committed both himself and the Diocesan Resource Centre to speak out more often on these issues and to be an example for the rest of the diocese.

“Poverty reduction” is a perfect example of using words to mean the opposite of their plain meaning: what is really meant is “wealth reduction”. The Diocese of Niagara, having long ago abandoned any pretence of being a church, is an unashamed left-wing political old-boys club. Its left wing agenda is to relieve the wealthy of their money and give it to the less wealthy. Once we are all equally impoverished, there will be no more poverty. Although one imagines that Bishop Michael Bird will still receive his $105,000 yearly salary – the price of being prophetic.

The vision is already giving new life to other initiatives. The Greening Niagara committee is working on a Green Parish Accreditation program to animate and affirm parishes in their Greening work. A coordinating committee has been formed to organize a national Community Justice Camp, which will gather Canadian Anglicans of all ages together in 2010.

I find the Greening program particularly appealing since I see it at work every Sunday in the building where I used to worship: St. Hilda’s. Every Sunday, priest number one, Cheryl Fricker, drives to St. Hilda’s building to open up and turn on the heat; so does priest number 2, Sue-Ann Ward; then we have a piano player and a lay-reader each driving in separate cars. So we have 4 carbon dioxide spewing cars all speeding to St. Hilda’s every Sunday to minister to a congregation of 1. Naturally, the individual who attends drives his own car. We can only hope that, for their sins, they all end up spending time in Justice Camp eating uncooked broccoli by candlelight; I can supply the barbed wire.

But the vision of excellence in ministry calls for much more. It calls us to develop tools and training to integrate justice-making into the lives of our congregations and their members. It challenges every congregation to take on an additional initiative related to prophetic social justice making, be that an act of advocacy, an event or an educational project. The vision also calls for an animator to be recruited in the coming years to assist us as we live out the vision.

Here we see a clear Kafkaesque metamorphosis; instead of a human becoming a cockroach, craft-making – the familiar staple of the Anglican church of yore – has become justice-making. Just as bizarre as Kafka but more ugly.

By pursuing excellence in prophetic social justice making we have an opportunity to more fully live out God’s reign on earth. The result? People’s lives and God’s creation will be transformed and Niagara will be recognized as leader with regards to poverty reduction and environmental sustainability.

I don’t want to move out of the Niagara peninsular, I really don’t. I am optimistic that it won’t come to that, since the likelihood of the Diocese of Niagara achieving excellence in anything – no matter how hot the pursuit – is about as small as Michael Bird achieving physical or moral stature.

Intimidation in the Diocese of Niagara

The last court hearing between the Diocese of Niagara and ANiC was to decide on costs to be awarded. The diocese is after $200,000 from ANiC, but at the time it couldn’t quite make up its mind – to the judge’s frustration – whether it wanted to sue the parish as a corporation or the wardens personally:

Ms. Chang said the diocese is claiming about $200,000 in costs for that hearing. “The reason there has been a delay for the judge to receive submissions is only on one issue and that is whether or not whatever cost award is made is against the wardens in their personal capacity or as trustees and representatives of the congregation,” said Ms. Chang. “We say it should be awarded against them in their capacity as trustees on behalf of the congregation. There’s no way that if we win the case that the wardens are going to end up with the property personally, there’s no way that they are going to end up with the assets personally, so to suggest that they should be liable for the costs personally is really shameful.”

Making the lawsuit personal is clearly meant as an act of intimidation and a warning to the wardens of other parishes who might wish to leave a heretical diocese and re-align with ANiC.

In the Diocese of Niagara, All You Need is Love, hypocrisy and a willingness to lie under oath.

A child of the earth opens his mind to a web that cannot be broken

For those of you that missed Earth Hour on March 28, do not despair, April 22 is Earth Day and the Diocese of Niagara has a selection of liturgies for you to recite while you sit in the dark trying to read them by candlelight.

Here is a choice morsel for your delectation:

Leader: On this Earth Sabbath, we open our minds to learn about ecological threats to the health of present and future generations and to the whole community of life.

Reader 2: God of love, we confess that at times we would rather stay in denial than see, hear, and understand how our lifestyles affect our world.

People: Forgive us, O God, and inspire us to change.

Reader 1: The prophets Isaiah and Hosea said: The land lies polluted under its inhabitants. The beasts of the field, the birds of the air, even the fish of the sea are dying.

Reader 2: God of mercy, we confess that we are damaging the earth, the home that you have given us. We buy and use products that pollute our air, land, and water, harming wildlife and endangering human health.

People: Forgive us, O God, and inspire us to change.

Reader 1: Chief Seattle said: Whatever we do to the web of life we do to ourselves.

Reader 2: God of justice, we confess that we have not done enough to protect the web of life. We have failed to insist that our government set standards based on precaution. We allow companies to release dangerous toxins that destroy fragile ecosystems and harm human beings, especially those among us who are most vulnerable.

People: Forgive us, O God, and inspire us to change.

All: God of compassion, today we acknowledge our dependence upon you and our interconnectedness with the whole web of life. We open our eyes, ears, and hearts to the pain of the earth, that we may be open to your truth, see your way of hope, and walk with courage in your way.

I don’t know about you, but I had no idea that pollution was such a problem for Isaiah and Hosea; I always thought it was moral pollution that bothered them: live and learn. Fortunately, we Anglicans don’t have to worry too much about moral pollution: since the Anglican Church of Canada is a major supplier, it has granted its members immunity as long as the money keeps rolling in.

It’s such a relief to know that it’s all the government’s fault, though; and polluting companies, of course.

After reciting that I feel so interconnected with the cobweb of life… oops my candle-powered, crystal enhanced, pyramid amplified, pan-galactic Interweb optical string connection just blew out.

It's ours, my precious, we wants it

michael-gollumThe Diocese of Niagara wants the church building that the people who attend the parish of St. Hilda’s paid for and maintain – still.

They want the rectory, bought and paid for by the parishioners of St. Hilda’s; they would like to either boot the rector out or make him pay rent, because he not only disagreed with the diocese, he acted on it. He was mean to them.

The diocese froze St. Hilda’s bank account in an attempt to steal their money. This backfired, I gather, since the account is still frozen, so no-one can touch the money.

The rector’s and people’s wardens were mean to the diocese too, so the diocese is suing them to teach them a lesson.

The diocese has taken the Parish Records of St. Hilda’s, including the parish roll for ‘safe keeping’; the current parish roll contains the list of names of everyone who voted – unanimously – to join ANiC.

St. Hilda’s parishioners: bolt your doors at night.

St. Hilda's Oakville twinned with St. Francis Zimbabwe

Symmetry can be found in mathematical proofs, poetry and snowflakes. Occasionally, what at first might appear as a haphazard coincidence, exhibits all the elegance of symmetry. Here we have a surprising example of the symmetrical relationship between St Francis Anglican church, Zimbabwe and St. Hilda’s, Oakville, Canada.

The symmetry is as follows:

Bishop Sebastian Bakare Leftrightarrow !, Bishop Don Harvey

Reverend Vincent Fenga Leftrightarrow !, Pastor Paul

St Francis parishioners Leftrightarrow !, St. Hilda’s parishioners

Nolbert Kunonga Leftrightarrow !, Michael Bird

five people  in St Francis with the Kunonga-affiliated priest and his wife Leftrightarrow !, Cheryl Fricker, Sue-Ann Ward, piano player and lay reader

Add an Image

A GLEN Norah resident was shot and injured in the arm when police fought running battles with parishioners at St Francis Anglican church, arresting two priests, a church warden, one youth member and another church member.

All those arrested belong to the main Anglican church that is led by Harare Bishop Sebastian Bakare.

Buoyed by their brave Bishop Bakare, who a few weeks ago ignored the riot policeman at the altar trying to disrupt his Sunday service, and carried on with worship at the main cathedral in the city, Glen Norah parishioners decided Sunday time had come to reclaim their church.

So they left a local hall they had been renting after being thrown out by the police at the behest of Nolbert Kunonga, a zealot of Robert Mugabe’s repressive regime.

“Since we were thrown out of the church by the police, we have been attending church service at a parishioners house in Glen View 7 but since the onset of the rainy season, we have been renting a hall in Glen Norah A,” Reverend Vincent Fenga said from his cell at the Glen Norah Police Station.

“So yesterday the church agreed that since our colleagues elsewhere had gone back, we should also do the same and start to use the church at the time we were given by the courts, which is 11 AM but lo and behold, the police were not having any of that so problems erupted as church members started to tussle with the police.”

The angry parishioners wanted to know why the police were protecting Kunonga, especially when only five people were holding service, the Kunonga-affiliated priest and his wife included, were the only ones using the church for service in the morning.

Some started throwing stones at the police as the police used force to try and force the parishioners out of the church yard and building. Teargas and gunshots were subsequently fired as police tried to disperse the parishioners who had now been joined by residents who live around their church.

A local man who was relaxing at his home was shot and injured in the arm. His name has not been released.

At least four people were arrested and they have been identified as Mr Mutyamaenza, assistand parish priest Mr Musariri and one youth, Jussy Chingunduru. Two of them who are diabetic, including the church warden, have since paid guilt of admission fines and have been released.

The police, however, refused to allow Reverend Fenga and the youth leader, Chigunduru, to leave the cells. They will be arraigned at the Mbare Magistrates Court Tuesday.

Members of the parish’s Mother’s Union converged at the police station and spent the whole day singing church hymns outside the station in protest at the arrest of their priest which they say is unfair.

“Since the unity government came into being, the police officers, who were no longer guarding the church, came back and we have not been able to use our church, a church we built with our own money simply because of Kunonga,” a senior Mother’s Union leader said.

“We are not going to stop, we will continue until we reclaim our church. We have a court order that says we should use the church from 11am so what is the police trying to do, they almost killed an innocent man, all in the quest of protecting one man so he can control the church and its money. Like they say my son, everything that flies will one day have to land and so will Kunonga and Robert Mugabe. We wonder what the unity government says to all this.”

The injured man, whose name was not immediately available, is said to be in a stable condition. Police refused to comment but a spokesperson said investigations were underway into yesterday’s incident.

Since September 2007 the Anglican Church in Zimbabwe has been controlled by Nolbert Kunonga, the former Bishop of Harare.

The controversial former Harare Bishop broke away from the Lambeth Palace-affiliated Harare diocese, and defied a high court ruling last year ordering him him to share churches with his Anglican rivals.

About a month ago the Church secured an affidavit from Police Commissioner Augustine Chihuri, in which denied knowing anything about a police operation to force Anglicans away from their churches.

It was read to parishioners by Anglican priests wherever they met, and they were urged to return to their churches on Sunday.

Emboldened by the formation of the new power-sharing Government, the church’s flock is now beginning to return in force and many hope Kunonga will soon be a creature of the past.

Parishioners of St. Francis, thank you for the inspiration.