Category Archives: Daft

Lost in translation

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For reasons that are not apparent to me this article:

Some of the few things that can still scandalise: Bible quotes
The fear appears to be that, in spite of the fact that the US was at war and embroiled in all the horror and mess that accompanies war, the last thing it could afford to do was offend those who are being bombed – or liberated. Could America’s standing in the Arab world be any lower? After this, I suppose Obama will have refine his ingratiation technique and bow to the Saudi King – even lower.

Saddam’s gruesome little tyranny was secular not religious so billing the Iraq war as a crusade, bible verses or not, does not hold water; the mixing of politics and religion is often a recipe for disaster, but those who are most prone to do it – the religious left – will be the noisiest critics of this discovery.

appears to have been translated into some other language, then back into English and re-emerges here:

Some of the not overflowing things that can in any case scandalise: Bible quotes
The cowardice appears to be that, in bitchiness despite of the information that the US was at warfare and embroiled in all the repugnance and around that accompanies warfare, the endure junk it could slacken off on d See to do was embarrass those who are being bombed – or liberated.

The rare junk is not the information that it happened – something that is in reality one mildly surprising – but the pother its disclosure is creating. Could America’s duration in the Arab in all respects be any farther down? After this, I as read Obama purpose be in latest thing hone his ingratiation procedure and curtsey to the Saudi King – equable farther down.

Saddam’s horrid scant dictatorship was terrene not meticulous so billing the Iraq warfare as a struggle with, bible verses or not, does not back water; the mixing of diplomacy and belief is many times a procedure disparage a brave against of cataclysm, but those who are most predisposed to do it – the meticulous left-wing – purpose be the noisiest critics of this disclosure.

I’m still trying to decide which I prefer, the bitchiness of the original or its Borat inspired replacement.

Garden gnomes for the prurient rustic

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A gardener in the West Midlands, UK is inspiring licentiousness in the population of the tiny village of Hunnington by Add an Imagedisplaying naked garden gnomes. The town council, in a last ditch effort to prevent the village sinking into a slough of Rabelaisian orgiastic abandon, has ordered that the gnomes be robed.

Friendly, unassuming and often cheeky, garden gnomes delight visitors to gardens all over the country, and are rarely a cause for complaint.

But widow Sandra Smith has had to go clothes shopping after a neighbour complained her gnomes were showing just a bit too much bare-faced cheek.

The naked gnomes – which have been pride of place in her West Midlands garden for 15 years – now sport an extra layer after a call from a council officer.

The gymnophobic neighbour has complained:

‘They are childish and I think it pathetic that they are in a front garden in full view of everyone.’

That may be so, but the real question is, is the censorship of nude gnomes a threat to cultural diversity?

What we've all been missing: Womanist Theology

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The Anglican Journal, ever on the bleeding edge, has illumination on Womanist Theology.

‘Womanist’ theologians examine faith from black female prism

I take that back: how do you see through a black prism, even if it is female? But wait, there’s more:

Womanist theologians – female African American theologians who view the Christian faith from the prism of the experience of black women – are celebrating two decades of work of a movement that has gained increasing prominence in U.S. religious and academic circles.

I must live a sheltered life, because up until now I had never heard of Womanist Theology. It seems that “womanist” was coined by Alice Walker:

What then is a womanist? Her origins are in the black folk expression “You acting womanish,” meaning, according to Walker, “wanting to know more and in greater depth than is good for one — outrageous audacious, courageous and willful behavior.” A womanist is also “responsible, in charge, serious.” She can walk to Canada and take others with her. She loves, she is committed, she is a universalist by temperament.

Her universality includes loving men and woman, sexually or nonsexually. She loves music, dance, the spirit, food and roundness, struggle, and she loves herself. “Regardless.”

To any womanist reading this, rest assured there is a place for you in the Anglican Church of Canada where the bishops are universalists too, loving men and women sexually and non-sexually. Like you, they love food and roundness; they struggle – often with their trousers because of the roundness – and they definitely love themselves. They have little regard for anything other than their own culturally insular preoccupations – mostly sex and roundness – so one could certainly call them “Regardless”. You will fit right in.

Atheists in Canada

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The atheist bus ad campaign is coming to Canada, specifically Toronto.

In polite Canada it will say “There is probably no God – unless that idea offends you, in which case there probably is. May we respectfully offer the suggestion that you might want to consider that it could be a good idea to stop worrying and enjoy your life. Unless you enjoy worrying, in which case it is OK to worry. Eh.”

Psychiatric knit-wit

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From the TelegraphAdd an Image

Psychiatrist Dr Karen Norberg, of National Bureau of Economic Research in Cambridge, Massachusetts, spent a year knitting an anatomically correct replica of the human brain.

“For me, there were two humorous aspects. One was simply to undertake such a ridiculously complex, time consuming project for no practical reason.

“The second was the idea of making a somewhat mysterious and difficult object – a brain – out of a ‘cuddly’, cheerfully coloured, familiar material like cotton yarn.”

Here we have the rare case of a psychiatrist spending a year doing something useful – insofar as she could not use the time taken knitting to further muddle some already sufficiently addled patient-victim.

Love thy neighbor, yet pull not down thy hedge

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I knew there was something funny in the Durham air:

A vicar and his neighbour have been arrested on suspicion of assault after a Add an Imagedispute over the height of a 20ft beech hedge between their homes.

Rev Stuart Bennett and Brian Stokoe were held for questioning over the alleged incident before being released on bail.

Tempers are understood to have flared on a Sunday 11 days before Christmas in what is believed to have been a long running dispute.

Mr Stokoe had previously complained about having “to live with these hedges for a long time now”.

He said: “They are beech hedges which are prolific growers and they are blocking all the light from my house and the elderly residents on the other side.

“I have discussed it with Stuart but he claims it is not his responsibility and the church has no money to pay for it.”

“The Bishop of Durham is aware of Mr Bennett’s situation and has asked the Archdeacon of Durham to look into the matter. It is now in the hands of the police and there is no other comment.”

I can hear Tom Wright now: “the hedge provides a moment when the abstract analysis offered by postmodernity suddenly becomes concrete”. The obvious solution is to compel the impecunious vicar, his benighted neighbour and the hedge to form an indaba group; then the hedge could tell its story.

Anglican Predictions for 2009

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Anglican church attendance in North America will continue to decline.

Katherine Jefferts-Schori and Fred Hiltz will stem the tide by continuing to speak with a prophetic voice: they will apologise for their heterosexuality and will work to aspire more closely to the homosexual ideal.

Some heterosexual clergy will have a sex change operation so that they can more fully express their inner homosexuality.

Other, more moderate clergy will become cross-dressers.

Rowan Williams will shave his beard in order to appear more effeminate.

Katherine Jefferts-Schori will start wearing makeup in order to appear more effeminate.

Gene Robinson will realise that nothing he can do will make him appear more effeminate.

Robinson will declare that he is living proof that there is a gay gene.

Conversations and dialogue will continue on the meaning of the word “evangelism”. The provisional conclusion will be that it means “inclusion”.

The North American dioceses that favour more inclusion will demand oaths of allegiance to the bishop before members are allowed to take Communion. This is how they will evangelise.

Fred Hiltz will continue to encourage Canadian dioceses to honour the moratorium on same sex blessings – to the greatest extent possible.

Fred Hiltz will preside at same sex blessing ceremonies in the dioceses of New Westminster, Niagara, Montreal and Ottawa.

A mole in the diocese of Niagara will leak that Michael Bird wears platform shoes.