Category Archives: Church of England

“Night of the Living Dead” at Anglican Cathedral

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No, it’s not another Indaba meeting, it’s a Halloween service at Liverpool’s Anglican Cathedral; it is intended to “engage with people’s fear of death and fascination with the spirit world”.

It seems that the Church of England’s desperation to entice people into a church has sunk to the level of titillating their dangerous fascination for the occult.

More here:

Liverpool’s Anglican Cathedral will stage a Halloween service tonight that will “engage with people’s fear of death and fascination with the spirit world”.

Canon Richard White will lead ‘Night of the Living Dead’ at 8pm in the main space of the Cathedral.

The first service like it took place in 2010, with more than 200 people attending.

Canon Richard said: “Halloween is now the second biggest commercial event of the year.

“While lots of churches offer positive alternatives for children, teenagers and young adults can often see the church as irrelevant or condemning at this time of the year.

“Our stunning Gothic cathedral is the perfect place to seize the opportunity to connect with people’s fascination with the ‘spiritual world’.

“It will be creative, fun and will have Christ at its centre.”

 

An Anglican Church won’t allow yoga classes on its premises

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In a shocking development from the UK, St. Andrew’s in Dibden won’t allow an elderly grandmother to teach yoga on its premises on the grounds that yoga has its roots in Hinduism.

What is the matter with this church, one wonders? Where is its sense of inclusion, of diversity, of being “spiritual but not religious”, of there being many ways to the Father? Entirely absent, it seems: if I lived in Dibden, I would attend St. Andrew’s.

From here:

THE Anglican Church has been dragged into the yoga controversy – by banning an 81-year- old Christian fitness instructor from holding classes at a Hampshire church hall.

Despite being retired for more than 20 years, Eileen Meegan tirelessly teaches yoga for four hours a week – making sure pensioners socialise, keep supple and are de-stressed.

But the Daily Echo can today reveal that St Andrew’s C of E Church in Dibden Purlieu has banned her classes from its premises.

It joins the Roman Catholic St Edmund’s Church in Southampton which banned yoga teacher Cori Withell from its hall, saying her classes were not compatible with the Catholic faith.

Reverend Bob Horrocks, Church of England vicar and part time nudist

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From here:

Mr Horrocks, from the Seven Saints Rectory in Farnworth, Bolton, is set to bare all for a TV documentary in a bid to change attitudes towards the naked human body.

The 55-year-old says the Bible celebrates nudity and the sexualisation of bodies is a modern phenomenon which has been manufactured by advertising.

[….]

“I went away and researched the Bible and I found there was a lot of positive stuff – there is nothing condemning simple nakedness. It was part of life at the time of Jesus. It’s something I would’ve loved to have discovered when I was a lot younger.’

At a time when it is tearing itself apart over same-sex marriage, homosexual clergy and women bishops, this is just what the Church of England needs to lend a little sober perspective to its travails: nude vicars.

There is some good news in all this: Rev, Horrocks, you don’t need to worry about anyone sexualising your body; really.

Church of England dumps News Corp shares

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From here:

The Church of England has sold its shares in Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. over its handling of a phone hacking scandal at one of its newspapers.

Anglican leaders said in a statement Tuesday that they were not satisfied that News Corp. was likely to show a commitment to reform its business practices following evidence of illegal eavesdropping at the defunct News of the World newspaper.

Church official Andrew Brown said the decision to sell the 1.9 million pounds (US$3 million) in News Corp. shares followed a year of inconclusive dialogue between News Corp. executives and members of the church’s ethical investment committee.

All done with no Listening Process, no Continuing Indaba and no Generous Pastoral Response.

Sorry, I forgot: they don’t apply to shady business practices, only shady sexual perversions.

Church of England priests banned from “inappropriate behaviour”

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The “unbecoming conduct” in question is membership in the BNP, not sodomy; CofE priests are heaving a collective sigh of relief.

From here:

The Church of England’s ruling synod is expected to ban clergy and church workers from belonging to organisations such as the British National Party.

Clergy would be prevented from expressing support for groups the Church considers racially prejudiced.

Supporters say the proposals could bring more racial diversity to a predominantly white Church clergy.

General Synod members meeting in York will be asked to vote on an amendment to the Church’s disciplinary measures.

This would make it “unbecoming” or “inappropriate” conduct for clergy to be members of a political party with policies and activities declared “incompatible” with Church teaching on race equality.

 

Lady bishops worried about being “second class citizens”

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From here:

Reforms to allow women to become bishops, which were expected to be approved by the Church of England this week after 12 years of bitter debate, are in disarray.

Some of the Church’s most senior female clergy have denounced the proposed legislation for giving their opponents concessions which they say would make them second-class citizens if they were made bishops.

A final vote on the historic measure, which would pave the way for women in mitres within two years, is the main item at the Church’s ‘Parliament’,  the General Synod, which starts a five-day meeting in York on Friday.

What strikes me about the career ambitions of Church of England lady priests is not so much whether female bishops are theologically sound or not but this:

Anglican women priests eager for upward career mobility claim that their cause is one of justice, equality and rights. Justice demands that women have access to the same opportunities as men; equality between the sexes in the 21st century is an unassailable aphorism; everyone expects women – men, too, but particularly women – to stand up for their rights.

What child of the third millennium could possibly disagree?

Surely these potential lady bishops are simply fighting for what is right, doing “social justice” as Jesus would want them to. Or are they?

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Phil 2:5-8

I think the real problem with these ambitious lady priests is that they appear to view their calling as a secular career rather than a Christian vocation: they should not even be priests let alone bishops.

If the Church of England hates Capitalism so much, where does it get its money?

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While some of the Church of England’s income comes from donations, 15 percent (£160 million) comes from Church assets of £4.4 billion. Yes, that’s right, the anti-capitalist supporter of the 99%, the marginalised, the homeless, the occupiers and those who use St. Paul’s as a toilet are sitting on £4.4 billion. Well, not sitting exactly: the money is invested in the stock market and property markets where much maligned mavens of finance wheel and deal to earn the church 5.7%.

Naturally, the church has a policy on ethical investing, so it avoids such things as arms, pornography, gambling, alcohol and tobacco. That didn’t stop it investing in one of the UK’s more tawdry rags, the News of the World, though, or persuade it to withdraw its funds when the hacking scandal became public.

The church did withdraw funds from Caterpillar because Israel uses the bulldozers to “demolish Palestinian homes” and the Church always enjoys finding a new way to bash Israel.

The one thing the Church is not doing with its £4.4 billion is giving it away to those for whom it has such affection: the poor, marginalised, homeless and occupiers. It hasn’t even used any of the money to build a toilet for the occupiers.

It all makes what Rowan Williams has to say about capitalism sound even more hypocritically silly than his usual divagations.

Here is his most recent effort:

Church of England will be dead in 20 years

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In spite of this optimistic prognostication, I remain convinced that the Church of England is already dead: in 20 years, its corpse, having spent the last few decades marinating in ecclesiastical gas, will become a pickled artefact fit only to be put on display for the entertainment of curious historians in generations to come.

From here:

The Church of England will cease to exist in 20 years as the current generation of elderly worshippers dies, Anglican leaders warned yesterday.

The average age of its members is now 61 and by 2020 a “crisis” of “natural wastage” will lead to their numbers falling “through the floor”, the Church’s national assembly was told.

The Church was compared to a company “impeccably” managing itself into failure, during exchanges at the General Synod in York.

The warnings follow an internal report calling for an urgent national recruitment drive to attract more members.

In the past 40 years, the number of adult churchgoers has halved, while the number of children attending regular worship has declined by four fifths.

The reason for the decline was not discussed but becomes transparently obvious when we read later on in the article that the Bishop of Southwell is concerned that maths lessons are too “capitalist” and should be reformed to promote Christian values.

The Church of England is full of bishops who are convinced they are concentrating on the real problem while, in actual fact, they are living their vacuous lives in a barmy, utopian Marxist cuckoo land full of anti-capitalist arithmetic conceived by flamboyantly gay clerics.

Why does anyone want the Church of England to survive?

 

Church of England, the Burger King of Christianity

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From here:

Getting married? Have it your way, says Church of England.

Just weeks before the royal wedding of Will and Kate, the Church of England has a new video on its wedding website. You can wed at a magnificent church as easy as ordering a fast food burger — your way. And you don’t even have to be Christian.

By lowering the entrance qualifications to zero, the Church of England is trying to attract people who are looking for nothing but pretty buildings and grinning, compliant vicars.

Which parish will be the first to offer a drive-through lane?