Author Archives: David

Suicide prevention in the Anglican Church of Canada

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The church has hired two new suicide prevention workers. You might suppose that their focus would be on the recovery of those unfortunate enough to have accidentally overdosed on ACoC sermons. But no, they will be working on Indigenous suicide prevention, a worthy endeavour, without doubt.

The irony is that while these new hires will be working to prevent suicide among Indigenous people, as indeed they should, many of the rest of the clergy are perfectly happy to go along with, and even attend, bless and sanctify, state assisted suicide simply because it is now legal in Canada.

For example, the new bishop of Toronto, Andrew Asbil was present at a recent joint euthanizing.

From here:

The Anglican Church of Canada has hired two new suicide prevention workers as part of its Indigenous ministry.

Jeffery Stanley, a master of divinity student at the Vancouver School of Theology, began work June 25; Yolanda Bird, a former member of Council of General Synod (CoGS) with extensive experience working with children and youth, began July 3.

Each will be responsible for helping deliver existing suicide prevention programs in the dioceses in their areas, as well as helping develop new ones, said Indigenous ministries co-ordinator Canon Ginny Doctor. Their work will also include developing teams of volunteers in dioceses where the need for suicide prevention is especially high, she said.

Bishop of Toronto declares that the Holy Spirit is male

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Here is the homosexual bishop of Toronto, Kevin Robertson, clearly exhibiting a spasm of unrepentant patriarchy by holding up an offensive sign in the Toronto Pride Parade.

This is a slippery slope: if, today, a bishop can get away with saying the Holy Spirit is male, before long he’ll be calling God “Father”.

Where is the outrage from our feminist clergy? Has anyone reported this as a hate crime?

Drag queens recruiting children

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Central Children’s Library in London, Ontario is having Drag Queen Story Time.

DATE: Saturday, July 21st, 2018 from 2:30 PM to 3:15 PM

LOCATION: Spriet Family Children’s Library, Central Library, 251 Dundas Street

COST: FREE (Drop In Event)

DRAG QUEEN STORYTIME

Back by popular demand is our 2nd Annual Drag Queen Storytime at London Public Library!

Talk, read & sing with London’s fabulous Drag Queens as we hear stories about diversity & self-empowerment. Wear your favourite dress or costume!

Make sure to stay after storytime & enjoy the activites in the Spriet Family Children’s Library!

The event is intended for children so, until someone comes up with the bright idea that drag queens are born not made, it is transparently clear that the event is recruiting children by peddling the notion that men pretending to be women – albeit the ugliest women you’ve ever seen – is not just normal but a vocation to which junior could aspire.

Here they are in action. As you can see, all perfectly normal:

Church of England responds to pre-Synod satirical blog

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The blog that has caused all the confusion can be found here.

And here is the church’s statement

We are aware of a blog entitled ‘Church of England’s Synod may abolish Holy Trinity to include Muslims’.

Apparently some commentators appear not to have realised the author intended it to be a joke. For the avoidance of doubt, this article is entirely without basis of fact, and is published marked as ‘satire’.

The agenda for the July 2018 General Synod can be found here, including details of all Private Member Motions listed for debate.

The Church of England remains fully committed to the doctrine of the Trinity.

As soon as I read this, I realised we had entered murky water: is the church’s statement itself satire? Who can tell anymore? If people thought Jules Gomes was being serious, it is only because what he said seems increasingly plausible.

Even the Church of England thinks it is sufficiently plausible that they are obliged to deny it.

Sometimes I think we are trapped in an ecclesiastical Matrix where nothing is real. In this Faustian simulation, rather than saving souls the church busies itself with fussing over gender fluidity, sexual deviancy of every variety, global warming, fossil fuels, buildings, status, armchair socialism, secular power and, most important, clergy pensions.

I am waiting for someone to pull the plug on the connection to the computer so that the church can reintroduce itself to reality.

TEC questions God’s gender

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After decades of diligent searching, The Episcopal Church has finally found a sentient being who is not entitled to self-identify as the gender of his choice: God. Even though God repeatedly refers to himself as “Father” in his autobiography, TEC is having none of it.

If we let God have its way in this, “our work toward equity will not just be incomplete, I honestly think it won’t matter in some ways”, said Rev. Wil Gafney, a Hebrew Bible professor who currently self-identifies as a woman.

When Gafney preaches ne sometimes refers to God as “She” rather than “He”; pretty offensive, since ne should be using the gender neutral “Ne” “Ze” or “Ve”.

I like to do my bit for the work toward equity.

From here:

The terms for God, in the poetic language of the prayers written for centuries, have almost always been male: Father. King. Lord.

And in the Episcopal Church, the language of prayer matters. The Book of Common Prayer, the text used in every Episcopal congregation, is cherished as a core element of Episcopal identity.

This week, the church is debating whether to overhaul that prayer book — in large part  to make clear that God doesn’t have a gender.

“As long as ‘men’ and ‘God’ are in the same category, our work toward equity will not just be incomplete. I honestly think it won’t matter in some ways,” said the Rev. Wil Gafney, a professor of the Hebrew Bible at Brite Divinity School in Texas who is on the committee recommending a change to the gendered language in the prayer book.

Canada readies itself for Hair of the Human that Bit You

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After 17 October 2018, when in Canada cannabis becomes legally available to the general public for the purpose of mass stupefaction, the popular but ineffective hangover remedy, “hair of the dog that bit you” will require the corollary in the headline above.

Recently, a man in the UK, perhaps attempting to shake off the after-effects of overindulging in that most innocent of narcotics, cannabis, became not only an aphoristic literalist but so euphorically witless that he was unable to notice the distinction between biter and bitee.

“Beware of the Human” signs will be available at your local Humane Society.

From here:

A cruel pet owner admitted to leaving his dog with horrific injuries by biting him while high on cannabis.

Tyler Laverick, 20, confessed that he sunk his teeth into his eight-month-old Staffordshire Bull Terrier named Diesel, last October.

At an initial hearing in April, the court was told that Diesel was seized by police after members of the public reported seeing the dog being assaulted by a male.

Officers attended Laverick’s former home in North Shields and found the pet with horrific injuries to his face, eyes and ears, inside the residence.

The court heard that when asked how the pet suffered the visible wounds to his head, Laverick responded by saying: ‘I was biting him, I was stoned’.

Bishop Jane Alexander denies tapping into the Zeitgeist while doing it

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Here are bishop’s remarks at synod in support of same-sex marriage:

play-sharp-fill

Her opening gambit, declaring LGBT people are “not an abomination” is a loaded statement along the lines of “when did you stop beating your wife?” It presupposes that there are conservatives in the church who think they are an abomination: no conservative I know thinks that.

She goes on to say that every person at the synod is “a beloved child of God”. Not quite. Every person is loved by God but before we receive Christ as Lord and Saviour, we are his creatures still in our sins deserving his wrath, not his children. Since this is an Anglican synod full of those averse to such ideas, I am sure there were at least some there that fell into the category of “creature”.

She moves then to piously declare that she will not pronounce LGBT people “not good enough” marry because, after all, we all take Communion together. This is another “when did you stop beating your wife?” statement. It has nothing to do with being “good enough”, it is a category error. Without redefining “marriage”, it is as impossible for a man to marry a man or a woman a woman as it is for them to marry a cabbage.

The bishop then meanders into the fantasy that marriage has little to do with sex so, by implication, we needn’t worry ourselves about the things homosexual couples get up to. Marriage is about relationship, not sex. No so: marriage is about relationship, erotic love and sex.

Now we reach the nub of the matter. Because Christian marriage is counter-cultural (it is), it must also be counter-cultural to marry homosexuals (it isn’t). The Anglican church is obsessed with homoerotic sexuality, just like the culture in which it immersed. It has absorbed, re-packaged and then regurgitated the obsession, but it is the same obsession: it is not counter-cultural.

This is the church pandering to culture.

Rabbit’s ears and the bishop

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Kevin Robertson is a homosexual bishop in the Anglican Church of Canada. He is unapologetic about what would at one time seem to be an unlikely combination: a male Anglican bishop married to another man.

Perhaps this improbable juxtaposition has unhinged his sensibilities or possibly the photographing of oneself with faux rabbit’s ears has liturgical significance. Or perhaps this signals an arcane sexual invitation beyond the comprehension of those immersed in the mundane confines of heterosexual mores. We may never know, but here is Kevin in multiple poses with rabbit’s ears:

Retired vicar reconciles with his male Romanian model husband

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Reconciliation: Justin Welby would be proud.

Rev. Philip Clements aged 79 is married to a male Romanian model aged 24. You will be surprised to learn that the relationship has had its ups and downs; but now they are back together.

Since the vicar is sexually inert due, he says, to his age, the relationship with his husband is celibate and, consequently, there is nothing wrong with it according to the Church of England.

Nevertheless, as far as I can see, there is nothing right with it, notwithstanding  its intrinsically sad, comedic properties.

From here:

A retired vicar who was left homeless after selling his house to buy his Romanian husband a flat has insisted their three-year romance is real.

Philip Clements, 79, said their relationship is better than ever as he appeared on the Jeremy Kyle programme with his husband Florin Marin this morning.

The pair married in April last year after meeting on dating app Grindr in 2015.

Mr Clements even sold his £215,000 home in Sandwich, Kent, to buy a flat in Bucharest, Romania – where Mr Marin was from – and transferred ownership into his new husband’s name.

The couple split after just a few months later due to arguments about Mr Marin’s nightlife. Mr Clements ended up returning to Britain with nowhere to live.

But in a U-turn the couple say they are now giving their relationship another try and put on a united front on the Jeremy Kyle show this morning.

Opening up about their relationship, Mr Clements said: ‘I don’t have any money but our relationship is better than ever, though I’m not sure if Florin agrees.

He revealed his relationship with Philip couldn’t be physical due to age but said that wasn’t a problem. The former chef said: ‘It’s not a problem with him, if I want a physical relationship with someone I will just tell Philip beforehand.’

Bishop Michael Curry still hasn’t found what he’s looking for

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The aura of celebrity that encircles Michael Curry’s head in place of a halo continued to grow brighter as he met with members of a rock band to talk about “the way of love”.

As you probably know, when they’re not busy playing rock and roll, making excessive amounts of money, and devising ways to evade paying tax,  Bono and the rest of U2 enjoy instructing star-struck bishops on the deep theological matters of the day.

From here:

Presiding Bishop Michael Curry met backstage this week with U2 and front man Bono at New York’s Madison Square Garden, where the Episcopal Church leader and the globally renowned rockers discussed Curry’s Reclaiming Jesus initiative.

The meeting happened in the evening June 25 just before the first of a series of U2 concerts in New York on the band’s Experience + Innocence tour. A photo released by the band shows the foursome posing with Curry.

“I know of no other group that has sung and witnessed more powerfully to the way of love than U2,” Curry said June 27 in a written statement to Episcopal News Service. “It was a real blessing to sit with them to talk about Jesus, the way of love, and changing our lives and the world. They are an extraordinary community gift to us all.”