After years of searching unsuccessfully for homosexuals willing to tie the knot, the Anglican Church of Canada has, at last, found a community of suitable candidates: gay penguins.

Bishop Michael Bird – no relation to a penguin – has stated that the requirements in the Diocese of Niagara for gay penguin matrimonial bliss is that one penguin must be baptised – no problem for the average penguin – and that the gay penguins must be in a long term monogamous relationship. The latter qualification may be relaxed since it poses a bit of a problem for the average gay penguin. And then Bishop Bird will be back to having no-one to marry.

From the BBC:

King penguins do not form long-term homosexual pairs despite same-sex “flirting”, one of the first evidence-based studies has revealed.

Researchers found that over a quarter of the birds in one colony displayed in same-sex pairs, yet only two pairs bonded by learning each other’s calls and both were later seen caring for eggs in heterosexual pairs.

The scientists suggest that these same sex displays could be caused by an excess of males or high levels of testosterone.

I’d like to make sure everyone understands that Bishop Bird has never been accused of having high levels of testosterone.