Some things are as certain as the sun appearing in the morning, so it surprises no-one that Barack Obama is Time’s man – sorry – person of the year 2008. It and the inevitable fawning was so predictable that it is almost not irritating. Almost.

Obama sits down on one of the mesh chairs and launches into a spoken tour of his world of woes. It’s a mind-boggling journey, although he shows no signs of being boggled — unless you count the increasingly prevalent salt in his salt-and-pepper hair. By now we are all accustomed to that Obi-Wan Kenobi calm, though we may never entirely understand it. In a soothing monotone, he highlights the scariest hairpin turns on his itinerary, the ones that combine difficulty with danger plus a jolt of existential risk.

How could we mere mortals, ever understand what Obi-Wan Kenobi calm is. As it happens, Obi-Wan was apparently personally responsible for the death of Darth Maul and General Grievous, and indirectly caused the deaths of Darth Tyranus, Darth Vader, and Darth Sidious. He had a long and tumultuous career that has helped shape the fate of an entire galaxy.

Doesn’t sound particularly calm to me; of course, the modern equivalent, Obami-Wan, goes out for a quick drag now and again: it’s the only thing that stops him running amok killing numerous and sundry Darths and shaping recalcitrant galaxies.

And why do we have to have “existential” dropped into everything: a risk that is not existential is non-existent. Just like the impartiality of Time.